


May The Bridges We Burn Light The Way

by Lightgrey



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, No Incest, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, i wrote this instead of my master thesis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-01-24 04:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightgrey/pseuds/Lightgrey
Summary: After Vanya's concert, Five, Klaus and Ben land in 1989 without the rest of their siblings.Until they figure out what to do, they have to learn how to live together.Or : Sober Klaus is suprisingly good at being a responsible adult, and Five is not always an asshole.





	1. Four, Five, Six

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Radlands by The Mystery Jets.
> 
> Unbeta-ed, all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> TW : Blood, PTSD, suicidal thoughts

Klaus landed ungracefully on his hands and knees. He distantly registered the wooshing sound of the time vortex closing behind him. He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the nausea. On his left, Five was lifting himself on his elbows, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"-the others. Klaus. Klaus !" Snapping his head to the right, Klaus realized that Ben was talking. "I think we lost the others. I.. I don’t know what happened. They were there and then they weren’t." Ben was standing beside him, gaze fixed on the empty space where the portal had just disappeared.  
  
They weren’t at the Icarus anymore. They had landed on the docks, less than a mile away from the theatre. Neither of their siblings was there. Five, Klaus, and Ben were alone. Judging by the color of the sky and the absence of workers, it was either really late or very early.  
  
"Shit." On his left, Five was looking around, taking in his surroundings. Grinding his teeth, he got to his feet and took a few steps in direction of the edge of the dock. Clenching his fists, he lurched forward and then – blue light was wrapping up around his hands, the air around them _vibrated_ and–  
  
"Five, whoa, buddy I don’t think this is a very good idea", Klaus said. Still on his knees, he extended his hand towards his brother. "Maybe wait a second, you don’t know-" But as he said those words Five’s hands stopped glowing. His nose started bleeding, thick drops of blood flowing over his lips and along his chin.  
  
Klaus didn’t have the time to get up before Five collapsed – face first – on the ground. His face collided with a morring ring with an audible crack.  
  
"Oh come on, really ?" Klaus huffed. "You would think that someone who claims to be as old as he does would know better."  
  
Without deigning to grace him with an answer, Ben got closer to their unconscious sibling. "We need to patch him up. He’s bleeding." Letting out a soft sound of annoyance, Klaus got up and rolled Five on his back. There was a slowly-growing stain of blood on his shirt. Klaus quickly pressed the heels of his palms on the wound.  
  
"Yup. Definitely bleeding. Five, can you hear me ?" A pause. "So how do we proceed ?", Klaus asked Ben when Five failed to reply.  
  
Ben pointed at a car parked near the closest building. "We take the car. We find a motel. We patch him up. We patch _you_ up. Then we think."  
  
Klaus shot him a confused look. He was obviously fine, Five was the one currently passed out on a dock. He was about to say so when Ben interrupted his train of thought : "The car, Klaus. Diego once showed you how to open the door with a knife. He also showed you how to jumpstart it."  
  
Klaus gaze went from Ben to his hands – currently busy putting pressure on his little brother’s wound – to the car Ben was pointing to, then to Ben again.  
  
"Alright. Okay. You wait here while I go steal us a car.", he murmured to Five.  
  
With Ben precious help, Klaus managed to pry the car door open and to jumpstart it without too much trouble. The car looked like it had seen better days, but it would do. He drove it right next to his unconscious brother, and stood beside it, trying to figure out how to get Five in the passenger seat without jostling him too much.  
  
"Fuck it, we’ll do it live", he said as he slipped a hand under his brother’s shoulders, dragging him up. With a groan, he manoeuvered his other hand under his knees and lifted the boy from the ground. He wasn’t _that_ heavy, but the last twenty-four hours had taken a toll on Klaus.  
  
Having laid Five in the seat, he leaned on the doorframe, out of breath. Klaus was silent for a second, then bit his lip and bent forward. He wiped the blood off the face of his brother with the rim of his ripped army jacket.  
  
Klaus sighed, looking at the unconscious form of his little brother. He shed his now ruined jacket and pressed it to the shrapnel wound on Five’s side. Under Ben worried gaze, he used the seatbelt to hold the piece of fabric in place.  
  
"Well that should do it for now", he whispered to himself. Noticing his hands weren’t exactly steady, he put them on his hips in a effort to keep them from shaking. "Do you reckon our dear brother would have any cash on him ?"  
  
Klaus then proceeded to search his own pocket first for money - "Oh look Ben, almost a dollar !" – then those of his brother.  
  
"Now _that’s_ better, you old gremlin. Can you believe this, Ben ? " He turned to his ghost-brother, propped on the hood of the car. "He bribed me into pretending to be his dad with only twenty bucks, when he had fifty dollars stashed in his shorts." Ben only shook his head.  
  
Klaus ran a trembling hand through his hair, effectively smearing blood all over the side of his face in the process. A snap of fingers got his attention. "Klaus. Klaus you need to keep it together." Ben was looking at him intently.  
  
"You have blood all over your face. Your need to wash up before we go. We can’t have you getting pulled over by the cops with an unconscious teenager in your car."  
  
Ben. What would Klaus do without him ? He was his guardian angel, the Jiminy to his Cricket, the – wait no, the _Jiminy Cricket to his Pinocchio_ , that sounded better. He was getting incoherent here. _Water. I need to find water_ , he thought.  
  
Ever so helpful, Ben pointed towards the edge of the dock.

 

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later, Klaus parked the car in the back of a motel. He hoped no one would think too much of a sleeping teenager in a car. Five was still unconscious but his breathing was steady and blood had not yet seeped past the army jacket. Klaus drummed his fingers on the wheel, thinking. He gently angled Five’s head towards him, until his cheek was resting on his collarbone, effectively hiding the worst of the bruises on his face. Klaus got out of the car, slamming the door behind him, and headed for the entrance of the motel.  
  
The reception area was silent. There was a young woman behind the desk, looking deeply absorbed by the book she was reading. She didn’t acknowledge Klaus’ presence immediatly. She shot him an irritated look after he cleared his throat, then did a double take. Klaus was no doubt an interesting sight, with his crop-top, his smeared eye-liner and his bowling shoes. And was that blood on his pants ? The woman quickly set her book aside and put up a cautious smile, her gaze flicking between Klaus’ make-up and the bloodstain on his thigh.  
  
"How can I help you ?"  
  
"Hello, I know it’s a little early, but my brother and I are in need of a room for today. We’ve been on the road all night long, and now my little buddy’s so tired he’s asleep in the car", said Klaus with a tired smile. He looked at her expectantly, biting on his lower lip and leaning on the counter.  
  
Klaus knew what he was doing. Hell, he had done this all his life. He excelled at it. Not that any of his siblings had noticed, always too eager to dismiss him as the junkie-brother-who-can’t-quite-seem-to-do-anything-with-his-life. If any of them had paid attention, they would have noticed the ever so useful skill he picked up along his years on the streets.  
  
Blushing under his gaze, the woman – Hannah, according to her nametag – shifted on her chair. She reached for the register, bloodstain forgotten. _Damn, the damaged-but-beautiful act never gets old_ , thought Klaus.  
  
After a few seconds, Hannah cleared her throat and looked back at him. Klaus slowly batted his eyelashes, not breaking eye contact.  
  
"I have one room left. There’s only one bed, but it’s big enough for two. Payment up front and no noise after 10 p.m.", she said.  
  
"I’ll take it."

 

* * *

 

  
The room was located on the back of the building, on the second floor. How the hell was Klaus going to carry Five up there ?  
  
Ben was mounting guard on the backseat of the car, Five still unconscious in front of him. Klaus slowly unbuckled the seatbelt, replacing the pressure on the jacket with his own hand. Now what ?  
  
Bracing himself, Klaus manoeuvered Five out of the car – without even hitting his head in the process – and closed the door with his shoulder. At the foot of the stairs, he let a soft whine. Ben shot him a helpless look. Taking a big gulp of breath, Klaus started to climb the stairs.  
  
The climb was long and laborious, interrupted by several breaks to catch his breath. His arms were barely supporting Five’s weight when he finally reached the second floor.  
  
Klaus managed to open the door without dropping his unconscious sibling, Ben anxiously chewing on his nails at his side. He immediatly settled the boy on the bed and went straight to the bathroom. The came back with two towels, white and not particularly fluffy.  
  
"What is it with hotels and white linens ?, he said, still trying to catch his breath. "Couldn’t they offer others colors, like, I don’t know, dark-brown ones that would make bloodstains less suspicious ? These people really have no consideration", he muttered, shaking his head.  
  
Moving to Five’s side, he ripped one of the towel and used it as a makeshift bandage to wrap around the boy’s torso.  
  
Klaus looked up a the clock on the wall. 5:06 a.m. Hannah had given him the adress of a 24/7 convenience store less than a mile away. He glanced at his brother. He would have to make his trip a quick one.

 

* * *

 

  
"He hasn’t moved an inch", announced Ben. Klaus had just come back from the store with a bag filled with bandages and disinfectant. He’d been too short on cash for any painkillers, much to his regret. He would have been a sucker for one of those. But then again, he would have been a sucker for anything that might take the edge off.  
  
On the bed, Five’s breath was strained. Blood had seeped through the towel, menacing to leak onto the bedcover. Klaus tried not to think of the amount of blood his brother had lost, and definitively not to the fact that he was trapped in a child’s body, and how many gallons of blood did he even have ? _Don’t be ridiculous, he’s not that short. He’s taller than Vanya for fuck’s sake. He ran around with a shrapnel on his side for days before he collapsed_ , Klaus tried to reassure himself.  
  
"Ben ? I hope you paid attention when Grace was teaching us how to deal with open wounds."  
  
Oh how Klaus wished Diego had been there. This guy had an extensive knowledge of how to treat from the littlest cut to the most severe laceration.  
  
"Wash your hands first. Then disinfect the wound and stitch it again ?" Ben said with a shrug.  
  
"Really ? Oh wow, thank you Ben, I haven’t thought of _that_ ", Klaus huffed.  
  
"What ? It’s been a while." He crossed his arms, chewing on his lip.  
  
"Alright, show must go on", Klaus said, clapping his hands.  
  
It took him about half and hour and a lot of arguing with his ghost-brother ("What do you mean he’s bleeding from somewhere else ? How does he do that ? " "I don’t know, just – just wipe it with that") but Klaus patched Five up as best as he could.  
  
Exhausted, he wiped his hands on a towel and let himself slide onto the floor. Leaning against the bed, he tipped his head backwards so it was resting on the bedcovers, and fixed his gaze to the ceiling. It didn’t even have any decent cracks to stare at. It was just plain, boring dirty white.  
  
He listened to Five’s labored breath and realized his was not much better. Closing his eyes, he took deep and measured inspirations to ground himself. He blinked a few times and scratched the back of his head. No blood in his hair this time. He wasn’t so sure about the underside of his nails though.  
  
"M’sorry Five-oh, I’m gonnna have to leave, just for an hour or two. Please don’t die while I’m not here. Please don’t wake up either, actually. You’re going to be such a pain in the ass when you wake up, I bet you’ll tear your stitches apart again just to show me what a badass you are, not caring about your own health when there is an apocalypse to avert and yada yada yada." Klaus had gotten up saying this. No response from Five.  
  
The total-combined price of the items Klaus needed to get far exceeded the forty cents he had left in his pocket. He had to find money, and quick. Ben and Klaus exchanged a look.  
  
"No", Ben said firmly.  
  
"I don’t have a choice", Klaus replied, dropping his gaze to the floor.  
  
"No, you have the choice, you could try to summon me so I could steal from some rich guy pocket, or you could flash your most charming smile to the clerk register – Oh come on, I’ve seen her when we drove past the entrance, I’m sure she’s not immune to your charm – Anything but this."  
  
" _This_ , as you say, is the most effective mean I have to make money right now. Won’t be long. "  
  
"You didn’t even _try_ to summon me !"  
  
"I can’t summon you !", Klaus snapped. "I barely have the energy to put one foot in front of the other, how am I supposed to conjure my dead brother into a corporeal form ? That’s easy to say when you’re not the one doing all the work."  
  
Oh well, maybe that came out a little harsh.  
  
Then, softly : "Sorry, Ben. I’m trying, I swear. But right now _this_ is what I can do. You stay with our little psycho, make sure he doesn’t hurt himself – or anyone for that matter. Or at least if he does just, I don’t know, come tell me. "  
  
Klaus sounded exhausted. Ben’s eyes softened a little.

 

* * *

 

   
His jaw hurt . He needed something to cover the awful taste that lingered on his tongue. He didn’t sit in the driver seat as much as he collapsed in it, closing his eyes. _So fuckin’ tired_. He reached for his back pocket and eyed warily the crumpled bills he had fished out of it. Almost 90$. _That should cover it_ , he thought. He started the car with a sigh and drove back in direction of the motel.

 

* * *

 

   
This shower was indeniably in the top-five of the best showers of his life. Klaus didn’t know if it was the feeling of finally scraping off the cumulated grime of the last 24 hours, or the fact that the cold water soothed his raging headache, but if he hadn’t already met God, he would have thought that this was what heaven felt like. He was _that_ close to start a cult worshipping his toothbrush. No, that was unfair. He would have to worship his toothbrush _and_ his toothpaste. Maybe the shampoo, too. He giggles softly, imagining himself trying to explain to his siblings how he started a new polytheist religion. He wondered idly when was the last time he slept. He decided he didn’t really want an answer to that, so instead he spat in the sink and rinsed his mouth. Passing his tongue on the front of his teeth, he tried to convince himself that the lingering taste was in his head.  
  
Five was stirring when Klaus got out of the bathroom. Ben sat with his legs crossed at his side. Klaus snatched one of the t-shirts he had bought and put it on. Five’s eyebrows were knitted together, and when he finally opened his eyes he shot Klaus a confused glare. Instead of letting out a snarky comment or an irritated question, Five just tried to sit up – and failed. Klaus was by his side in a instant.  
  
Five batted Klaus’ hands away. "Why don’t you keep your hands to yourself ? ", he grunted. Charming as always.

The boy then proceeded to button his bloodstained shirt, gaze searching for his tie. He took an long look at the room, brows furrowing.

"Hey I have an idea, why don’t you put on clothes on wich you haven’t bled yet ? " Klaus’ tone was light, but his throat felt like sandpaper. He hoped his voice didn’t sound as hoarse as it felt.

Five shot him one of his scornful glare, but stopped buttonning his shirt.

"No, wait, even better : why don’t you go and get cleaned up, if you’re so eager to be moving ? I mean don’t get me wrong, I am very happy to see you not-unconscious and bleeding freely from whatever injuries you may-or may-not-have, cause let’s be honest I’m no doctor, but I think you should be resting in bed for… I don’t know, maybe the next day or two ? But I know for a fact that you won’t, and I guess your first instinct would be to go get coffee and then scribble away whatever nonsensical magical formulas your brain can muster on the first flat surface available but, in that case, and please note that I’m being the responsible one, maybe just maybe a shower and clean clothes first would be a good idea."

During his tirade, Five face had gone from mildly irritated to tiredly resigned. He set his jaw and winced at the movement. His left cheekbone was covered in a dark purple bruise, stretching on the side of his eye and to his temple. That’s what you get when you fall on your face. Or did it happen back at the Icarus ? Five wasn’t sure, and he was not about to ask his brother. He frowned and gestured at the heap of clothes stacked on a chair.

"Where did you get that from, anyway ? "

"That ? Oh I dived in the first second-hand clothes store I could find, so maybe they’re not exactly fitting, but I tried to find something that would look good with your eyes without being too flashy", Klaus explained as he got up and fished a black t-shirt and a deep green hoodie from the pile, dropping in the chair not occupied by the clothes.

Five frown deepened as he looked towards the items piled on the table. From where he was he could see a first-aid kit, various cans of food, and a newspaper. He limped in the direction of said newspaper, until he was close enough to read ‘April 15th, 1989’ on the front page. "Shit", he said, pursing his lips and wow, did that hurt his face. One hand on the table for balance, he turned to Klaus.  
"We went back too far. I think I felt the others slip somewhere between now and december 1989, but I will need to check my calculations. Luther was the first to let go, so he will probably be the last one to arrive. I think…" Five squints. "I think Diego was the last. So he should be the first one to join us." Then, as if a thought suddenly struck him : "Is Ben here ? "

"Yeah, yeah he is. It seems like my power plus your power equal ghosts going on time-travel adventures."

That set Five thinking.

"Maybe that’s why you’re the only one that ended up with me, even though you weren’t holding my hand. I don’t know how yet but I’ll have to take that into consideration in my next calculations…" Five trailed off.

His brother looked at him expectantly. Five shook his head – and immediatly regretted that decision because his possibly-shattered cheekbone throbbed with the movement.

"Anyway, how did you pay for all of this ?" A pause. "Did you pay for it ?" He added, squinting.

"You hurt me, brother mine. Of course I paid for it", Klaus replied dramatically, bringing a hand to his chest. "Whether I was with my money or the money that I happened to find in your pocket is irrelevant."

And with that Klaus got up from his chair, shoving the t-shirt and the hoodie into Five’s chest.

"Now go and get cleaned. Painkillers are in the cupboard, and the shampoo’s next to the tap." _Maybe the toothpaste is already half empty from the eight times I brushed my teeth but that’s irrelevant_ , he thought.

"I had forty, maybe fifty bucks in my pocket. You couldn’t possibly have bought all of this and gotten us a room with that amount of money. And I am positively certain that you didn’t have more than two dollars on you when we left. So where did you get the money ? " Five eyed his brother suspiciously.

Ben clicked his tongue from his place on the bed. "Called it. How do you feel about telling our dear brother how you got the money ?"

The fucker wasn’t even looking at them, his gaze instead directed at the not-that-fissured ceiling. Klaus hissed in his direction.

"I have no obligation regarding the disclosure of my whereabouts", he says, turning to Five. "Even if requested by my long-lost baby brother. Now how about you go clean yourself up so we can get a cup of coffee ?"

"Call me _baby brother_ one more time and-"

"My treat. " Klaus added with a sardonic smile.

Okay, maybe that last comment was too much. At that point, he was asking for it. Klaus braced for the impact – verbal or not, who knew with this little psycho – but it didn’t come.

Silence stretched between them. Five looked at his brother, really looked. He took in the dark circles under his eyes, the blood on his hairline, the way his jaw was set , and how red his lips were. He thought he could distinguish a hint of bruising on the side of his neck, and maybe a light scratch. It could be from the fight, or even from their trip, but added to the roughness of his voice, Five had a pretty good idea of how Klaus got the money. Dropping his gaze to the clothes he still held, he decided that this conversation could wait. Neither of them was in any state to tackle such a serious issue at the moment. So instead he settled for a simple "Alright."

 

* * *

 

 _Definitely shattered_ , thought Five as he inspected himself in the mirror. His broken cheekbone would probably leave him with a headache for days. On the bright side, his shrapnel wound had stopped bleeding, and was now reduced to a dull ache on his side. The painkillers Klaus had gotten them would be enough to muzzle his migraine for now.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he spotted Klaus at the table, head buried in his arms. Five grabbed the first-aid kit and began to rummage through it in search of a compress and adhesive bandage. Klaus wasn’t known for his ability to take care of himself, and the gash on his brow looked like it could use a cleaning.

Klaus didn’t lift his head until he heard his brother close the metal box. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness, a hand shooting up to scrub at his face.

"Maybe _you_ are the one that should be resting in bed for the next day or two", said Five. "You didn’t exactly spare yourself in the theatre either." He said it with a light-enough tone, but he was genuinely concerned. Klaus hadn’t fought for years, then had suddenly found himself involved in a war. He said he was there for ten months. That was a long time, even by Five's standards. Then, barely two days after he’d come home, he had discovered powers he never suspected he had, and used them to save his siblings asses. Even Five, though he had always thought Klaus wasn’t using his powers to their full extent, had been surprised. Yeah, maybe he ought to go a little easier on him.

Pushing a wet strand of hair aside, Five wiped the gash on his brother’s forehead. With practiced movement, he pressed a compress on it and tore a strip of adhesive with his teeth, using it to hold the compress in place. Klaus had stilled himself the moment Five touched him. It was common knowledge that Five _hated_ touching people. What in the hell was he doing-

"Why don’t you rest a little while I go get us coffee ?", Five offered. The last thing he wanted was for his brother to collapse from exhaustion. He probably wouldn’t be able to lift him if that happened, let alone bring him back to the motel.

Klaus eyed him suspiciously. "Since when do you care about my well-being ?"

"I have always cared about your well-being, you idiot. I have been trying to come home for forty-five years, five of which I spent fighting and killing more people that you could ever dream of, just to save you and our siblings asses. And frankly I’m getting tired of your ungratefulness."

"Now that’s more like it, old man."

Five closed his eyes, breathing through his nose. "I need coffee", he whispered.

"I’m in anyway, we can’t have you running all over the place in a thirteen year old body who looks like he’s been beaten to death. Not if you want to drink your coffee without the Child Protection Services barging in ‘cause the waitress was worried about your face." _Let’s not talk about the fact that I probably won’t ever be able to stay alone in a motel room again_. "You might also want to consider the fact that you are currently anemic and could pass out any time. If you died in a car crash, that would defeat the whole purpose of us being here. Also, I would probably be stuck with _two_ ghost-brothers instead of one, and something tells me you’re not quite as nice to have around as Ben." Klaus winks in Ben’s direction.

" _Fine_ ", sighed Five.

 

* * *

 

"I thought you said you couldn’t drive."

"I say a lot of things, you know. But hey, new day, new me, I’m sober now. And I’d have you know that I drove us here in the first place."

Five didn’t respond to that, and settled for a unimpressed look.

"But have you ever got a driving license ?" he asked, eyeing the car parked on top of two different parking spots. Fortunately, the registration clerk couldn’t see it from her desk on the other front of the building.

"As a matter of fact I did, but as you know the U.S. army kinda gives them away for free when in need of fellow soldiers."

Five huffed, but limped to the passenger side of the car. He felt terribly light-headed. But on the bright side, the clothes Klaus had given him felt like heaven. So much softer than his uniform. Five wasn’t sure when he’d last worn something so comfortable. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes.

The diner wasn’t far away, and Five was relieved to see that Klaus drove considerably better than he parked.

The bell jingled as they entered. Five headed straight for the booth in the corner and sat with his back to the wall. Old habits die hard, he thought. Klaus sat in front of him and reached for the menu, thhe waitress already heading towards them.

"Good morning, how can I help you ?", she asked with a smile.

"I'll have a cup of coffee. Black", said Five with a smile full of teeth, daring her to inquire about his face. Startled, the waitress turned to Klaus.

"I'll take a cup of coffe too, and three... No, four doughnuts", he corrected. He batted his eyelashes at her, trying make up for his brother's weirdness. "Comfort food, you know how mean bullies can be", he added with a wink and a light nod in his brother's direction.

She nodded and scribbled their order in her notepad. "Coming right back", she said as she left.

"You know you don't always have to be passive-agressive, right ?", asked Klaus, turning back to his brother.

"I was not being passive-agressive. I smiled at her", Five replied in a light tone.

"That was a shark smile, little bro. You need to practice on your people skills."

"I don't need people skills. I am- I was a hitman, not a politician."

"Well you used the right tense, Number Five. You _were_ a hitman. And now you're a just a kid. Well, not just a kid of course, but you should seriously think about the way you interact with normal people."

Five frowned.

"God I can't believe we are having this conversation", Klaus said, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I always thought Luther or Allison would lecture you about this. I'm not qualified for this."

"You're right, we are not having this conversation. I'm fifty-eight, for God's sake."

"Yeah, okay", Klaus whispered. His tired eyes flickered to his right, then back to Five.

"But there is another conversation we need to have." He cleared his throat. "What happened to you ? I mean, I know about the whole stuck-in-an-apocalyptical-world-for-fifty-years thing, but what _happened_ ? Why do you have stitches everywhere ? Where were you while Vanya was destroying the Academy ? Can you warp us to a different time ? Are we safe from the nutjobs from your work ?"

Five sighed, pursing his lips.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when Luther locked Vanya up. I was attending to personal matters. I thought… I really thought the apocalypse was over."

Klaus blinked, surprised. He didn't remember Five ever apologizing.

"Same goes for the Icarus. The Handler distracted me. Although at this point my presence wouldn't have changed anything.", Five chuckled bitterly. "As for the warping… Well, time-travel’s a bitch. I wasn’t even sure what bodies we would land into, although that turned out quite well. But I’m afraid I can’t use my power right now. I think it needs to recharge or-"

Five stopped talking as the waitress put two steaming mugs of coffe on their table, and placed the plate of doughnuts in front of him.

Five frowned as Klaus thanked her. He then pushed the plate towards Klaus and resumed :

"Anyway we’re stuck here for the moment. I don’t have any tracker on me, so I think it’s safe to assume that as long as we lay low, the Temp Commission won’t find us."

Klaus took one of the doughnut and pushed the plate back to Five’s side of the table.

"I thought you said you destroyed the Commission", he said, biting on the frosted pastry. "And you haven’t answered to my first question."

Five huffed, annoyed. "I blew up the Commission’s headquarters and got hit by a piece of shrapnel in the process. Mom patched me up."

Klaus shot him a pointed look, then glanced meaningly at his brother’s arm.

"I cut my arm open to get rid of my tracker, and then I got shot by Hazel and Cha-Cha. Happy now ?"

"Yeah, those two are a little too trigger-happy if you ask me. You should eat."  
  
"What ?", Five said, flatly.  
  
"I said, you should eat. Your body is thirteen years old. In the last few days you got shot, slashed, punched – my bad – and hit by a piece of shrapnel. You’re exhausted. And since you won’t sleep, you should at least eat something", Klaus said slowly, nodding to the doughnut plate.  
  
"I never thought you’d be the one to give me health advices, no offense." But as he said those words, Five reached for the plate. His brother was right. Food wouldn’t hurt. Hell, according to his estimations, they had weeks before Diego arrived, there was no need to rush themselves. But Five was so used to be _on the move, to be doing something_ – to calculate, to look for information, to track down and assassinate – that sometimes along the last forty five years he had lost the ability to stay put and take his time. _Except when I’m drunk, but even then, Delores wouldn’t let me get away with it._  
  
"None taken", said Klaus with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.  
  
"Speaking of wich, how long have you been sober for ?"  
  
"It’ch been schree days now", Klaus answered with his mouth full.  
  
So _that_ was why he was able to summon Ben in the theater. Five should have thought of that earlier. He felt a familiar pang of shame at the thought of Klaus deliberately poisoning himself to drown the screams of the spirits, and of not having been there to help his brother. But then again, would he have helped him ? None of their others siblings did. They all watched him sink into his own personal hell and did nothing to stop him. Wasn’t it presumptuous to think he would have done better ?  
  
"Well I’m happy to hear that", Five sighed. "I mean it, Klaus", he added softly, locking eyes with his sibling.  
  
Klaus look like a deer in headlights. His head snapped to his right, then back at Five with a frown. He gulped and cleared his throat.  
  
"Yeah, alright, so what’s the plan now, genius-boy ?"  
  
So, not in the mood for talk. Despite all his mannerisms and his general propension to blurt every stupid thing crossing his mind in the open, Klaus rarely talked about himself. He blabbed about random things that he did – Five had not forgotten about his brother comment on having been to jail – sometimes making his siblings somewhat uncomfortable, but he never really opened to them. Not about the spirits, not about his drug habit, not about _Ben_. But Five wasn’t going to force him to open up. Not when he himself had so many issues. Pot, meet kettle. Klaus wanted to deal in his own ways, and Five could respect that, as long as it didn’t involve getting high. Maybe later they could have heart-to-heart conversations about their respective PTSD, Five’s past as a hitman and Klaus’ time in Vietnam. It did not escape Five that Klaus was wearing someone else’s dogtags.  
  
"The plan is, you are going to sleep because you look like a you were run over by a truck, and I am going to get on with my calculations."  
  
Klaus chuckled.  
  
"It’s incredible how you somehow manage to be so caring and so insulting in the same sentence. But then I guess that’s just brotherly love", he grinned, biting into his second doughnut. "Oh shut your face Ben", he muttered with a side glance, still grinning. "And by the way, you don’t look much better. At least _I_ can pull off the wounded-soldier-with-PTSD act, but at best you just look like your father beat you up after his fourth glass of whiskey."  
  
Klaus had a point. Five’s cheekbone was still throbbing, and no matter how he tried to conceal it, he still winced everytime he had to move from sitting to standing. He was in no condition to fight. Five silently wished no one would find them until he had recovered all of his abilities.  
  
Speaking of wich, Five was trying his best not to worry, but a thought kept creeping at the back of his mind. _What if I can’t use my power anymore, like when I was stuck in the Apocalypse ? What if it needs weeks before I can warp again ?_ Five felt the cold trickle of fear spreading through him. He suddenly felt like his throat was dry, and that with every breath ashes rushed into his lungs and he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe -  
  
"- then maybe we could go find a bottle of whiskey. Hello, Five ? Are you still with me ?"  
  
Shit. Klaus was talking and he had just, _zoned out_.  
  
"Yeah. Sure." Why did he felt out of breath ?  
  
Klaus looked at him with a knowing gaze, but chose not to comment. His year in Vietnam really had changed him.  
  
"Come on, eat up. You’ll feel better."  
  
Five looked pointedly at his brother, but took the last doughnut and bit into it.

 

* * *

 

Back at the motel, Five drew the curtains, darkening the room. "You should get some sleep." Klaus, surprisingly, didn’t make a fuss and obediently lay down on the bed, groaning.  
  
"Oh sweet, sweet love, this bed is heavenly. And I should know", he chuckled, souding somewhat muffled by the pillow.  
  
Five raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing, making a mental note to ask about that later.  
  
"I’ll wake you in a few hours."  
  
"Or don’t. I’m fine here. I could lay on this bed for the rest of my life for all I care. I think my brain has turned off. I think my thoughts are all… Jumbled. They don’t make any sense."  
  
"To be fair, you usually don’t make sense. So don’t be too hard on your brain."  
  
"Love you too, kiddo."  
  
Klaus fell asleep almost immediatly after that.  
  
_Well that was easy_ , thought Five.  
  
Sighing, he sat at the table and grabbed a pen and the notebook his brother had been thoughtful enough to buy earlier. Sober Klaus had not finished surprising him.  
  
The motel curtains were, as the rest of the furniture in the room, barely functional. The room was still lit by the dull light passing through, and as such Five was more than able to read the newspaper. That would do. Fueled by the cafein, Five started to scribble in the notebook.  
  
He worked for the better part of two hours. He had been running the same equation four times with different results, and he was starting to think he had lost it, when it occurred to him that maybe getting an hour or two of sleep might be a good idea. Maybe his equations would be a little less incoherent after that.  
  
Five sighed and got under the covers beside Klaus, shivering. Why did he feel so cold ? _That would be the blood loss and the lack of sleep_ , he reasoned. He curled up, trying to warm himself up. Still cold. He wiggled a little to get closer to Klaus, who was radiating warmth like a furnace. Just far enough that he wouldn’t touch him, but close enough that he could soak up some of his warmth. Five let out a satisfied hum before drifting to sleep.

 

* * *

 

"Klaus. Klaus. Klaus !"  
  
Klaus woke with a start, Ben’s voice in his ear.  
  
"What… Ben ? What is it ?" he slurred.  
  
Before Ben could reply, a soft gasp drew Klaus’ attention to the oth  
er side of the bed. Five’s small frame was curled up beside him, shivering and whimpering in his sleep. His brows were knitted in what looked like pain, and his fists were clenched in the bedsheet.  
  
"No… No no no…" Five half moaned, half whispered.  
"Hug him. Now", said Ben. There was an urgency in his voice that was usually reserved for dangerous situations. He had never seen Five so distressed, and the fear he heard in his sibling’s voice made him uneasy.  
  
"Are you crazy ? He’s going to kill me if I touch him !" Klaus whispered.  
  
"No he’s not ! _Hug him_."  
  
Huffing, Klaus placed a hesitant hand on Five’s shoulder. Five flinched and seemed to curl up even more, trembling. "Not again – it can’t be…"  
  
Hearing the panic raising in his voice, Klaus decided that Ben was right. Carefully, he threaded an arm under his brother’s neck and wrapped the other around his torso, tugging him closer. Five began struggling but Klaus held him tighter, whispering into his ear : "Shhh, it’s alright, it’s alright, you’re okay, shhhh…"  
  
After a few seconds of murmuring gentle nonsense, Klaus felt Five relax against him, jaw going slack and brow unforrowing. Klaus let out a relieved sigh.  
  
"See ?" Ben had gone around the bed and was now perched over the covers on Five’s side.  
  
Klaus scowled at him.  
  
"You had no idea ! He could have chopped my hands off !" he mouthed.  
  
Ben chuckled. "Don’t jostle him too much. You don’t want to know what he is going to do to you when he wakes up."  
  
True. Klaus was now stuck with his arms full of thirteen-years-old-psycho-killer-with-PTSD, and didn’t quite know what to do with it. Said thirteen years old had finally stopped shivering, and was now burying his nose in the crook of Klaus’ neck. _Well that is unexpected_ , thought Klaus. But somehow, not that unexpected. Five had been alone for so long – Klaus had trouble imagining what forty years alone really meant – that him being touch-starved was making sense. He was making such a good job at hiding it that Klaus had fallen for it. But seeing him, feeling him clench his fingers into Klaus’ t-shirt, Klaus was forced to see it as he really was : an old soul, hardened by years of solitude, so damaged that he couldn’t remember how to ask for help.  
  
But even when they were children, had Five ever asked for help ? He had always been lonely, favoring the company of his books to the one of his siblings – Ben had been like that too, before he was unwillingly chained to Klaus’ side – the only exception to his solitude being Vanya.  
  
Vanya was the only one he confided in. The only one he didn’t mock, or humiliate in front of everyone. The only one he seemed to respect.  
  
Five was the only one Vanya didn’t blame in her book.  
  
If someone could fix Vanya, it was Five.  
  
Klaus angled his head so he could rest his cheek on Five’s messy hair, and closed his eyes, deciding that he should take what little rest he could get.

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting when Five woke up. He felt warm. He felt safer than he had in years. He felt – shit. Opening his eyes, he realized where he was. How did that happen ? Five didn’t _snuggle_. He didn’t touch people unless it was to hurt them. _Oh, fuck me_ , he thought. Trapped in his brother’s arms, Five sighed.  
  
He moved slowly the hand resting on Klaus’ chest, testing. No reaction. A little more confident, he raised his head from his brother’s neck, wincing at the sharp pain in his cheek. Of course he had fallen asleep on the fractured side of his face. Of-fucking-course. Slowly, gently, he disentangled himself from Klaus’ limbs and rolled on his back, taking a few seconds to breathe through the pain the movement brought to his side. He could feel his blood pulsing aroud his bruised eye. Way to go. Distantly, Five hoped that Ben hadn’t witnessed this particuliarly ludicrous ordeal.  
  
He sat on his side of the bed, legs dangling over the edge, and rubbed a hand on his eyes. Behind him, he could hear Klaus stretch, letting out a soft groan.  
  
"How long have you been awake ?"  
  
"Long enough that I now have blackmail material on you", Klaus chuckled. "You owe me five bucks", he added under his breath. Adressing to Ben, Five figured.  
  
"Talk to anyone about this, and I’ll rip out your tongue and force-feed it to you. "  
  
"Yeah yeah. You know you don’t have to prove anything to me, right ?"  
  
"Wha- Why would I need to prove anything to you ?", said Five, turning to face Klaus, who was now sprawling in the middle of the bed.  
  
"Well for starters you are awfully agressive. I think you should reassess your emotional involvement in your conversations. I think that you might be trying to compensate your whole-" Klaus gestured widely at Five. "-body situation, with violent threats to remind everyone that you are not as soft as you appear to be. Or maybe you were gone for so long that you don’t know how to be around people anymore, that’s why it’s easier for you to pretend that you hate me than to admit that you enjoyed cuddling with your big broth-"  
  
Five threw a pillow at his face, effectively shutting him up.  
  
"Oh no, you’ve seen right through me. Who would have guessed that forty-five years of isolation could mess with my abilities to interact with other human beings ? Gee, Klaus, how you manage to be so irritating upon two minutes of waking is beyond me", said Five as he got to his feet.  
  
"Oww Five… I’m irritating because I’m _right_ " called Klaus as his sibling disappeared behind the bathroom door.  
  
Klaus flopped back on the bed. He hadn’t had a regular sleeping schedule since he was nine. After his father had decided that locking him in a mausoleum would help him overcome his fear of the dead, little Klaus’ sleep had never quite been the same. Accordingly, his eating habits grew more hazardous, and when he discovered the wonderful numbing of Dad’s precious whiskey, everything went downhill.  
  
Klaus was not picky. He would take whatever he could find, and cherish what little respite he could get from it. But in the end, the nightmares always came back. The ones that creeped back when he got too used to a particular drug were the worst, because he wasn’t expecting them. The ghosts came back more gradually, usually one at a time, slowly enough that he could rush to his dealer and take something else. But sometimes, sometimes Klaus wasn’t fast enough. Sometimes he didn’t realize that he was surrounded by dead people until it was too late and they were howling in his ears, whispering horrors and clawing at his skin. At these times, Ben was the only thing keeping him from losing it. His last thread of sanity.  
  
So it was with wonder that Klaus realized that he hadn’t seen a single ghost since they had landed in 1989. He had slept soundly, for the first time in years. _Guess I didn’t see that one coming_ , he thought bitterly. _All it takes is a little torture, a year in Vietnam, some PTSD, dying in a club, almost-dying in the apocalypse, and a jump through time to finally be able to sleep._ Well, Klaus had never been one to dwell on things. So he got up and knocked on the bathroom door :  
  
"Are you done yet ? I really need to pee."  
  
"Do you really have no concept of privacy ?", came the response, muffled by the door.  
  
"Well, I was raised with six other siblings and we had to share a single bathroom, despite the house having more than twenty of them."  
  
"Bullshit. You always had space for yourself. If I remember correctly, you claimed one of the bathroom on the third floor as your own so you could take hours trying on Allison’s make-up."  
  
"Yeah, Dad found out about that, not long after you disappeared."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I’m sorry about that", said Five.  
  
"Well, surprisingly he was more pissed about the room-claiming thing than the make-up thing. I don’t think the old man paid enough attention to me to notice it, in fact."  
  
"I bet Allison got pissed about her make-up disappearing, though", Five said, opening the door.  
  
"She was", Klaus smiled. "But only because it looked better on me."  
  
To his surprise, Five let out a soft chuckle. And then it dawned on Klaus, he hadn’t seen Five laugh in seventeen years.

 

* * *

 

Klaus’ cigarette glowed red in the dark. Leaning against the balcony railing, he exhaled on long trail of smoke. He had let Five to his calculations, not wanting to stay holed up all evening in their tiny room. The TV wasn’t even remotely appealing to him, and the only book he could find was the Bible on the nightstand. Thanks but no thanks. The motel was surprisingly quiet for a saturday night. The door to their room clicked softly behind him, the sound followed by uneven footsteps.  
  
"I need a drink", said Five.  
  
"I don’t think you should drink."  
  
"I’m fifty-eight."  
  
"I think you might have an alcohol problem."  
  
"Hence my choice of words. I said I _needed_ a drink. "  
  
"How am I supposed to be responsible here ? " Klaus whined.  
  
"You’re not. I’m older than you. And I’m going to get a drink", Five deadpanned, limping towards the stairs.  
  
"And please, pray tell, how do you intend to get one ?", Klaus asked, trying not to show his concern.  
  
"I’ll just blink in-and-out of a liquor store. "  
  
"Is your power working again, then ?" Klaus said, following him.  
  
Five was eyeing critically the staircase. "I’ll find out soon enough", he huffed. He then proceeded to get down the stairs, one step at a time. Three steps later and as many winces, Klaus took a hold of his brother’s arm, rolling his eyes. When they painstakingly reached he bottom, Klaus let Five out of his grasp and watched him lean on their car, catching his breath.  
  
"Yeah I reeeally think you should reconsider the whole 'getting a drink' thing, y’know ?"  
  
Five glared at him. Ben was nowhere to be seen. Klaus held up his hands in mock surrender.  
  
Straightening up, Five took a long look at the car. "We have to get rid of this. Get in." He settled in the passenger’s side, fully expecting Klaus to drive.  
  
Klaus took one last long drag of his cigarette before crushing it under his bowling shoe.  
  
They ended up driving to a different convenience store that Klaus had gotten the supplies from in the morning. It would be stupid of them to start stealing so close to where they were staying, after all. The store standed bright, lighted by what seemed like a hundred neon signs. They were a few bars in the street, the people’s conversations overlapping in a familiar noise.  
  
The air was loaded with the acrid smell of smoke, and a part of Klaus longued to be in the back room of one of the bars, popping pills with strangers he couldn’t disappoint. Some other part, however, felt like he belonged here, with his siblings. That was a feeling he hadn’t had in a long, long time.  
  
"So what’s the plan, kiddo ?"  
  
Five slammed the door of the car. "You distract the cashier, I blink in, I take what we need, I blink out. Ben can tell you when I’m done, right ?"  
  
Ben looked startled, not being used to be a part of his sibling’s plans. It was nice to have someone else acknowledge his existence. "Yeah, sure", he agreed a little too quickly. Klaus nodded to Five.  
  
"Alrighty then", said Klaus, trying not to sound dubious. At least Five’s plan was simple. And Klaus had already proven his efficiency at causing distractions. Hopefully, this time he wouldn’t need to smash a snow globe to his head. He had been pretty high at the time but God, it had hurt.

 

* * *

 

From the exterior, Five could see Klaus rummaging through the frozen section of the store. After a few loud banging noises, the cashier reluctantly left his chair to investigate. Hunching a little, Five clenched his fists and concentrated. He could feel it. He could feel his power, thrumming. Screwing his eyes shut, he felt the familiar blue-hot strings of energy coursing through his veins. He set his jaw and stepped forward and- nothing. Just like in the morning, his power was there but just… out of his reach. He tried again, harder, clenching his teeth, but again- nothing. Black spots started dancing at the edge of his vision. He was about to try a third time when he felt something warm flow over his lips.  
  
Ben threw an arm out to steady Five, but he passed right through him, flickering blue. Thirteen years of being dead and he somehow still forgot that he couldn’t physically interact with his environment. The last few days had been blessedly different. He had been able to touch and punch and fight and he now found himself irritated at being deprived _again_ of these luxuries. So instead of holding his brother, he passed his head through the glass window and called for Klaus. Ben could faintly hear his brother saying something about "Ben & Jerry’s" and "not enough flavours", clearly not hearing him. Ben was reluctant to leave Five alone, so he cleared his throat and yelled : "KLAUS !"  
  
This time, Klaus head snapped to attention. Quickly excusing himself, he ran to the entrance of the store.  
  
"I think he’s going to pass out again", Ben warned.  
  
As if on cue, Five staggered on the pavement as his knees gave up under him. This time, Klaus caught him before he could bash his face into a lamp post.  
  
"Easy, buddy. Easy." Klaus murmured as he gently laid Five on the ground. Blood was dripping down the boy’s chin, staining the collar of his hoodie. Five tried to bat Klaus’ hands away, his movements messy. Klaus didn’t let go of him, crouching at his side. "Breathe. Can you hear me ?"  
  
"Yeah", Five whispered.  
  
"Good. Can you see me ?"  
  
"… Yes ?" But Five gaze was fixed on a point a little off the right side of his brother’s head. Klaus sighed, holding up three fingers in front of the boy’s face.  
  
"How many fingers ?"  
  
Five squinted, eyes refusing to focus. "Two ? "  
  
"Godammit Five, it’s not a guessing game !" Klaus said, exasperated.  
  
"Jesus Klaus, give him a minute", Ben intervened.  
  
"He’s a pain in the ass", Klaus huffed.  
  
"Yeah, but he’s our pain in the ass", Ben replied.  
  
"You’re a pain in the ass", Five said.  
  
Ben glanced at the entrance of the store, but the cashier had returned to his post with a sullen look on his face. He probably couldn’t see them from his spot, otherwise the sight of a bleeding thirteen-years old kid might have alerted him enough to come out and inquire about his well-being.  
  
Said thirteen-years old was pressing the sleeve of his hoodie to his nose, frowning to himself. He seemed to have recuperated enough to sit on his own. Klaus sneered : "Guess you can’t just _blink in_ and _blink out_ then. So much for the tequila."  
  
"Who said anything about tequila ? We are going to get vodka."  
  
"We aren’t going to get anything until you talk to me. What happened ?"  
  
"Oh we are talking now ? I thought we could go on with the family tradition of silent treatment and judiciously placed jabs in between semi-functional conversations."  
  
"Ouch, rude" Klaus said lightly. "But in light of the recent events I’d like to add some rules to to our family discussion guide. First, we tell at least one sibling when we are about to pass out. Second, we-"  
  
"I wasn’t going to pass out."  
  
"Of course you weren’t. You were just going to faceplant for the second time today, and as a big brother it is my responsability to prevent you of doing just that", Klaus said in a reasonable tone. "Now please, tell me what happened ?"  
  
"Nothing." Seing Klaus about to reply, Five added : "I mean, _nothing_. It’s just like when I jumped too many times and couldn’t use my power anymore, only it never lasted more than a few hours at a time." Except in the apocalypse, whispered a tiny voice at the back of his mind.  
  
"Hey, it’s okay hon." Five shot him a nasty look at the pet name. Klaus was definitely getting too familiar. "I mean, it’ll come back. It always comes back, right ?" Klaus was looking at him with wide, hopeful eyes, chewing on his lip. Instead of scolding him, Five only nodded, realizing that he wasn’t the only one having a hard time. Klaus was just trying to help.  
  
With his brother’s help and a lot of leaning on the car behind him, Five got up to his feet. For once his shortness had worked in they favor, as he was partially hidden from sight by the parked cars.  
  
"Hey I got an idea, why don’t we get some food first ?", Klaus said, not wanting to push their luck. To his surprise, Five grumbled in agreement. Klaus was slowly getting used to act as a responsible adult. _Better late than never_ , he thought.  
  
Two blocks down, the rumble of the conversations had faded away. It was quieter there, much to Five’s delight. His head had been throbbing since his spectacularly failed attempt at jumping through space. Klaus had surprisingly stopped making fun of him. Out of pity maybe ? Five didn’t want to think too hard on it.  
  
They were politely arguing over whether or not waffles qualified as dinner, Klaus insisting that they contained every nutriment required ("You have feculent, proteins from the eggs, and even fruits if you take them with blueberries in it ! How is that not sufficient for you ?") with Ben _allegedly_ on his side – but Five supected Klaus used the Ben card whenever he felt like it regardless of his ghostly brother real opinion on the matter at hand - when they were interrupted by a loud "Hey !"  
  
Klaus and Five whirled around as one, finding themselves facing a short-haired man. In his mid-thirties, he wore an army jacket but no dogtags, and stood with his legs wide appart in an agressive stance.  
  
"You the faggot from this morning", the man spat, jerking his head at Klaus. Five felt his brother grow tense at his side.  
  
The man was slightly shorter than Klaus but his muscular frame left no doubt as to his ability to fight. From the way his eyes were glinting and his slight slurring, Five gathered he was at least tipsy, if not full-on drunk.  
  
"So men are not enough for you uh ? I shoud have known you were sick enough to touch kids ", the man said as he gestured to Five.  
  
"Five !" Klaus exclaimed, turning to his brother and placing a hand on his heart in mock-hurt. "You could have at least told me I was touching you – in inappropriate places, according to this gentleman – because I hadn’t _noticed_."  
  
"Don’t play smart with me you little shit-"  
  
"Yeah well perhaps if you acted a little less like you were dropped repetitively on your head as a child then I’d talk to you more respectfully. But you see, I tend to adapt my tone to my interlocutor, and you started this conversation by calling me ‘faggot’ and ‘little shit’, not to speak of the fact that you accused me of being a child molestor, so…" Klaus trailed off.  
  
Five’s gaze ran over the short-haired man, subtly gauging his height and weight – just in case. Deep down, he knew Klaus was more than capable of handling himself, but he’d rather be prepared. His years at the Commission didn’t have to be wasted. And, well, even when they were kids, he could never really shake off the need to protect Klaus during missions – Klaus, the one whose power wasn’t useful in a fight, Klaus, the one with self-destructive tendencies – even if he’d rather die than admit it. No one had ever noticed him checking on Klaus, or at least no one dared to bring it up.  
  
Five hadn’t wanted to approach the subject of the provenance of Klaus’ money, but he suddenly felt like it was a huge mistake. Sober Klaus was clearly more responsible – or at least more reasonable – but still in his own chaotic way. Of course he had managed to make an enemy in the short time they’ve been here. No, that wasn’t fair. Whatever had happened, the guy obviously had a problem with Klaus’ choice of partners, and that no one could do anything about.  
  
"I’m going to break your face", said the man. Five felt like he was missing something. The man’s eyes glinted with anger.  
  
"I appreciate that you’re so direct about this. However I suggest -" Klaus didn’t finish, ducking to avoid the fist directed at his head. He retaliated with a vicious punch to the man’s throat followed by an knee to the face when he doubled over. Five, who didn’t have the time to intervene, looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow and a proud smirk.  
  
"That was quick. Guess war’s a good teacher", he said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, Dave taught me a lot of nasty techniques, add that to dear old Dad’s training... I always could handle myself in a fight, you know,", Klaus said conversationally.  
  
"Who’s Dave ?"  
  
Kneeling on the ground and clutching his broken nose, the man groaned, interrupting their conversation. "Oh shut up", Five snapped. "Anyway, what’s his beef with you ?"  
  
But Klaus’ eyes were fixed on a point behind Five’s shoulder. "I think our buddy here wasn’t alone. Get back", he said, extending a hand to push Five aside. There was an alleyway to their right, empty apart for the rats squeaking behind the dumpsters.  
  
"Get back- what, you want me to stand and watch ?" Five asked, startled at his brother’s sudden serious tone. Was he really forgetting who Five was ? Turning around, Five saw three other men coming their way. Seing their probably-friend on the ground, one of them let out a surpised yelp, hesitating. The other two threw themselves at Klaus. So much for the nice and polite conflict-resolution session then. Five grabbed the arm of one of their assailants and, pivoting so he was behind him, kicked the back of his knee. The man’s leg gave up under him, and Five used that opportunity to smash his head against the wall. He quickly turned around to face the man who hesitated upon seeing them. He was probably debating on whether or not he should hit a kid. Unfortunately for him, Five didn’t hesitate, and promptly kneed him between the legs. A quick glance to Klaus assured him that his brother wasn’t in difficulty, and – was he biting the man’s ear off ? His fighting style really was chaotic.  
  
Five turned his attention back to the three men on the ground, only a second to late. Pain exploded in his face as the short haired man’s fist connected with it. When had he gotten up ? Five took a few steps back, disoriented. No, now wasn’t the time. He couldn’t fight properly, he couldn’t _jump_. Five tried to avoid the second punch but he was just. Too. Slow. This time, he felt his lip split, and he tasted blood for the second time of the evening. He felt a hand grabbing the back of his head, fingers clenching in his hair, pulling his head back. The man yanked him up until he was on his tiptoes, teeth gritted against the pain.  
  
"So what, you’re going to hit a kid ?", Five chuckled darkly. He was no stranger to pain, but he was not used to being that vulnerable. He always felt naked without his power, but this, being trapped in a body too small, half-blinded by the pain in his side, unable to fight back... Suddenly, the situation felt ridiculously funny to him. He was just overpowered by some drunk asshole as if he wasn’t a professional assassin. "Come on, show me what you got. Hit me again." Five grinned manickly, baring his reddened teeth. He was distantly aware that he shouldn’t provoke the man further, but he had the longest day and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He spat blood at the man’s face.  
  
Five felt the man’s hand tighten in his hair.  
  
"Fuck you. " Yeah, zero point for originality here. The man inched his face closer to Five, nostrils flaring. "You little-"  
  
The man suddenly collapsed, letting go of Five, who stumbled to his knees. Behind him stood Klaus, clutching the handle of a now broken bottle. "Come on", he said, holding his free hand to his brother. "We’ve got to go."  
  
Five let his brother drag him upright and steady him as he felt his knees wobble. "You alright ?", he asked.  
  
"I should be asking you that", said Klaus, tentatively holding a hand out to Five’s jaw. "This fucker got you good." Five quickly stepped back, avoiding contact. His eyes were not meeting his brother’s.  
  
"I’m fine", he snapped.  
  
"Yeah, well, in that case let’s get out of here", Klaus sighed, not pushing it.

 

* * *

 

"I’m still hungry, by the way."

  
"And I still want a drink, but you don’t hear me complaining because I know we have no money and no powers and whining would be pointless", Five sighed, crossing his arms and leaning his head against the headrest.  
They had walked back to the car and driven to the outskirts of town.

  
Five heard a a rustling sound and turned his head to see Klaus slowly fanning himself with dollar bills. "Turns out this asshole had some cash on him", he said with a wink. "So, I’m opening the poll right now : vodka or tequila ?"

  
"How come Ben's allowed to vote ? He can't drink."

"How come you're allowed to vote ? You're thirteen."

Five huffed but knew better than to push the argument. "Vodka then."

Klaus sighed dramatically. "But vodka's boriiiing... Tequila's got more of a festive vibe, y'know ?"

"I'm not aiming for festive, I'm aiming for the best alcoholic percentage/less nasty hangover ratio here, and in forty-five years you'd better believe I had the time to test every alcohol there is on this planet."

"Oooh, watch out Ben, little Five thinks he's a better alcoholic I am."

"I don't think I am, I know I am", said Five.

Klaus wanted to argue some more but Ben made a _shut up_ gesture in his direction. Yeah, maybe now wasn't the time to push on this particular subject. Five had demonstrated quite an ability to drink in the last few days, and it could be funny if it wasn't so sad to see a kid downing bottle after bottle in the hope of keeping his nightmares at bay. If anything, Klaus could understand the feeling.

"Vodka it is, then", conceded Klaus.

They got out of the car and directed themselves to the liquor store they could see down the street. Five didn't protest as Klaus told him to stay put and entered the store alone. Bloodied knuckles on an adult were one thing, but on a child… Bruised as his face was, he would be lucky to even enter the store without someone calling the police. Five waited patiently, leaning on the wall next to the door. He could hear the rumble of conversations from the bar on the other side of the street. He wondered idly if Ben had gone inside with Klaus. Ghost or no ghost, Five felt uneasy, alone in front of the store.

A single piece of cinder brushed his cheek. Startled, he look up to see the familiar black of the night sky filled with smoke. The noise of the conversations grew softer as ashes slowly covered the ground. They were gradually being replaced by the crackle of little fires scattered around him. Heart leaping in his chest, he took a tentative step forward. No. No no no no no. He screwed his eyes shut, knowing that his mind was again playing tricks on him. He was _home_. He _stopped_ the Apocalypse. He wasn’t alone anymore. The soft crackles grew stronger, until the roaring of flames overpowered any other noise. Panting, Five pressed his hands on his ears, trying to muffle the sound of the world burning around him. The smell of charred flesh was everywhere and-

"Five ?"

Five jumped at the sound of Klaus’ voice, the apocalyptical vision disappearing into the night. He exhaled shakily before facing his brother. Klaus eyed him worriedly but said nothing, instead holding up a vodka bottle with a triumphant smile. Five felt his shoulders relax slightly. Everything was fine. They were no charred bodies, no raging fires, no ashes tangling in his hair.

"Let’s go", he answered when he felt like his voice wouldn’t crack with emotion.

Klaus insisted they needed food on their way back to the car, and they ended up eating pizzas as they walked. Upon reaching their vehicle, Five furrowed his brow.

"We should get rid of the car. Our blood is _everywhere_ , plus someone could recognize it and accuse us of theft."

"Well, we did steal it."

"Not helpful", murmured Five.

"It’s a shame, y’know, I was kinda starting to get attached to it."

"Jesus Klaus, it’s a _car_."

Klaus bit down a comment on Delores and how inanimate objects had _feelings too._

"We’ll drive a little further and dump it in the ocean", Five continued.

"And how, pray tell, do you intend to go back to the motel, dear brother ? Your limp is so bad it almost puts Dr Watson to shame."

"I can handle a little walk", Five snapped. He straightened a little, trying to hide his embarassment. He visibly hadn't gotten over the fact that he had fainted twice in front of his brother. Klaus grunted in exasperation but took place behind the wheel.

 

* * *

 

"There. That should do it", said Five.

Klaus obediently parked the car facing the sea. They were in a parking lot on some sort of cliff, only a mile from the city’s limits. The place was quiet. The boys got out of the car, enjoying the silence for a moment. A light breeze played with their hair, softly tugging at their clothes. Five felt himself relax a little. They were alive. They were fine. They had weeks before Diego showed up, and probably months until all of their siblings arrived.  
He could just... Breathe, for a moment. He limped to the front of the car and propped himself on the hood, wincing slightly. Yeah, he could use a break. Klaus joined him, balancing the bottle of vodka between them. He inhaled sharply, tipping his head back.

"It feels weird", he said.

"What does ?", Five answered softly.

"The quiet. The last few days were... Kinda frantic, to say the least."

"Yeah, they were", Five agreed. He reached for the bottle and took a long swig. God, he needed that. A few more and his face would stop throbbing. A little more and he wouldn't feel the sharp pain in his side. He had discovered early the dulling effect alcohol had on pain, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't used it on more than one occasion. Klaus was right, he might have an alcohol problem.

"How do you feel ?", asked his brother.

Five froze. They never asked each other how they felt. They were siblings, yeah, and some of them were closer than others, but him and Klaus ? That wasn't their _thing_. Their thing was... Well Five's thing was hurting his siblings until they hated him, and then pretending he was alone by choice. It was hiding behind harsh words and condescending insults, so he didn't have to face the truth – that he cared about them. That he cared then, when he made sure Klaus wasn't injured during missions or when he listened to Vanya’s latest violin piece, and that he cared now, now that they were all grown-ups with more issues that they could count, and he was the only one who could save them. If not from themselves, at least from the Apocalypse. Five felt a pang of guilt. He had seen Klaus slowly fall into the neverending spiral of drug use, and done nothing. He had watched him poison himself, trying to escape from his powers, and he hadn't once taken the time to actually _talk_ to his brother. But Klaus had somehow become an decent person, behind the layers of drugs and crazy talks with himself- with ghosts, with _Ben_. Actually, he had turned out to be the most caring of all the siblings. Five was an asshole sometimes, but he wasn’t going to refuse the truce his brother was offering him. So instead of telling him to _fuck off_ , he answered.

"I feel like a failure. I... I thought I could stop it. The Apocalypse. I thought I could save you all. And look were we are !" He gestured at them. "Delores was right, the equations were off. Guess I had it coming", he said, taking another swig at the bottle.

"Yeah I meant to ask you about that... Not that I am judging, you're free to love whoever you want but... How does it work ?" Klaus souded genuinely curious.

"Delores... Delores was the only person by my side for forty years. I met her in the early weeks of the Apocalypse. She was just... There. She didn't laugh at me for being an arrogant little shit stuck in the future. She understood me. She was there everytime I broke down, everytime I thought I couldn't do it." _Everytime I thought I should kill myself and end this ridiculous parody of living._ "She never judged me... Except when I drank. She didn't like me drinking", he added with a bitter laugh.

But Klaus didn't laugh. "I'm happy you had her, then", he said simply.

"I put her back, you know ? Just before Vanya blew up the Academy. I know she was just another part of me, and I thought that with the Apocalypse being cancelled, I didn't need her anymore. I thought I could try to sort myself out, take a break. But I fucked up."

Klaus took the bottle from his brother's hand.

"You did your best. No one's gonna blame you for that."

Five snorted. "Luther will."

"Yeah, well Luther can _leck mich am Arsch_ ", Klaus said, bringing the bottle to his lips.

Five smiled. Klaus was definitively becoming his favorite sibling.

"How do _you_ feel, Klaus ?", he asked tentatively. He wasn't sure if Klaus would answer him truthfully, but it didn't hurt to try.

"You know, I've had better days, but I also had definitively worst ones, so there's that."

"Fair enough. I obviously don't know enough about your life, but today felt like a pretty shitty day even by my standards.  
"You don't wanna know about my life", Klaus snickered, moving so he was lying on the hood of the car, supported by his elbows.

"Yes I do", said Five. God, he was really getting soft. He didn't want to be soft. But he was also getting curious, and to be honest Klaus seemed to have quite a lot a things to share.

"I told you about Delores", he said, facing his brother, "Will you tell me about Dave ?"

Klaus didn't answer right away, taking a long swig of vodka instead. He let out deep sigh, gaze fixed on the stars. Less light pollution in 1989.

"He was strong. And kind, and beautiful, and _mine_ for a few months." Klaus unconsciously clutched his dogtags. "He was the light of my life, and he... He died fighting a futile war." His voice broke on the last words.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Those ten months were probably the best of my life, despite the death, and the violence, and the chaos..." He trailed off, laughing softly. He closed his eyes and swallowed.  
When he opened them again, Five saw that they were wet with unshed tears. "I never thought I could love someone so much. I would have died for him."

"Can't you.. Summon him ?" As much as he understood the intricacies of the space-time continuum, Five was no expert concerning the realm of the spirits. Klaus’ power had always been a mystery to him. Klaus huffed. "Not right now, no. I'll try again after I successfully sleep for more than five hours at a time... Then we'll see how far my power extends. I've never slept with a ghost you kn-"

"Oh please !", exclaimed Five, but he was smiling.

Klaus laugh joined his. It was nice, hearing him laugh. They drank in companionable silence for some time after that. When Five decided they were both drunk enough, he finally asked Klaus :

"The asshole from earlier... What was his deal with you ?"

Klaus grunted, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "He was just another homophobic jerk. I deal with that a lot."

"I believe you, but you might want to tell me how do you know him ? We've only been here a day."

"C’mon Five, do you need me to spell it for you ? I know you’ve already figured it out." Five let a few seconds pass before answering. "I just thought we should talk about it."

"What is there to say ? Your brother is a drug-addict _and_ a whore", Klaus spat.

"That’s not what I meant."

"Yeah ? Then what is your point ? Are you going to do an intervention all by yourself ? Are you gonna tell me it’s disgusting and I should rethink my life choices ? I don’t need you to tell me that, hell, I don’t even need Ben to tell me that, I already know."

"I was thinking something more in the lines of ‘I appreciate what you did for us’ and ‘I will personally dismember anyone who tries to hurt you’, but…" Five trailed off, shrugging. "I think you’re doing great. You’ve been sober for four days, you discovered a new power, you got us to safety this morning… You are definitively doing a great job at being a responsible adult. It’s just… I wish you had more self-esteem."

Klaus seemed confused. "This", he slowly said, "is the nicest thing you have ever said to me."

Five shrugged once more, taking another swig of vodka. "I can be nice." He leaned on the hood, mirroring his brother’s position. "But I’d rather you do not do that again in the future. You don’t have to do that, not for me."

Klaus suddenly sat up. "We’re going to have to find jobs ! You said it would be weeks before Diego arrives !" He placed both hands on his cheeks, eyes unfocused, visibly contemplating his options. "I’ve never had a steady job…" he exhaled, pensive.

"We’re going to figure something out", Five said, holding out the bottle to Klaus. Klaus silently accepted it, gaze still fixed on the horizon. "Yeah, we are."

Five hopped off the hood, holding his side. "But in the meantime, how do feel about dumping this shitty car in the ocean ?"

A smile creeped out on Klaus face, mirroring his brother’s grin.

"I’ve always wanted to do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... That's it. That's my first fic. Again, all mistakes are mine, and English isn't my first language.
> 
> Hope you like it !


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego joins the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented and left kudos on the first chapter ! I was so nervous about this, but you guys were so nice !
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter two. Stil not beta-ed, all typos and mistakes are mine.
> 
> TW : blood and suicide

Five got his powers back on the 19th of april, a little less than a week after they landed in 1989. Klaus had talked him into waiting a few days before making another attempt after his _'monumental fails, c’mon kiddo even you have to admit it was spectacularly pathetic’,_ as he so aptly put it. As much as it had irritated him, Five had known his brother was right, and he had grumpily complied. To Klaus, Five going along with his suggestion was telling of how much he was scared of not being able to jump again.

After a week of anxious waiting – though he had made a great job at concealing it behind gallons of coffee and snarky remarks – Five tried again. 

Klaus had gone for one of his evening walks, and Five was alone in the tiny motel room. The setting sun painted the wall in warm shades of oranges, and the curtains undulated under a soft breeze. Klaus walked a lot this days, saying it kept him busy. He still wasn’t able to summon Ben, but more often than not he relayed his remarks to Five, letting him participate in their conversations. 

Five stood near the bed, _just in case_. He remembered sharply the feeling of his head hitting the ground, and his cheekbone was still very much cracked. Lesson learned. Five straightened. This time, instead of reaching for his power blindly and ignoring his body’s alarm signals, Five tried to clear his mind. Just like when he was a kid and he had to actively _think_ about his power to use it, he breathed slowly and concentrated. In, out, and repeat. Then, he reached almost hesitantly for the blue-white waves of his power.

 This time, when he felt the tendrils of space-time wrap around his fists, it didn’t feel like it was draining him of his energy. It felt like relief. It felt like hope. He bent forward, warping the fabric of space around him. He jumped only a few meters, but it was enough. Exhaling shakily, Five let himself tumble to the floor as his knees gave up under him, a chuckle finding its way to his lips. He threaded a hand through his hair, trying to stifle a laugh that was dangerously verging on manic. Five bit his lip, but the more he tried to stop, the more he was laughing. At some point, he realized that he was crying, too. Oh, the joy of being a teenager again. At least, his brothers weren’t there to witness his meltdown.

 

* * *

 

Klaus had tried to contact Dave on their second day in 1989. Then on the third. Then on the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth. 

The first time he had tried – and failed – he had blamed his raging hangover. On the second attempt, he had told himself that he was still recovering from manifesting Ben in the theatre. Summoning ghosts was _draining_ , right ? But as the days went on and he still couldn’t see his lover, Klaus had started to wonder if something was wrong with him. He knew his power was working; if not because Ben was constantly by his side, then because of the ghosts of the family that died in a car crash near the motel.

He hadn’t seen them the first day, but now they hovered at the corner of his vision everytime he crossed the parking lot. He had tried to ignore them, knowing from experience that ghosts didn’t try to interact with the living unless they knew they could be seen. But as always, they had figured it out. Probably because once he had taken a sudden turn to avoid stepping through one of them, but hey, it was a really weird feeling. It was almost _intimate,_ and although Klaus was very open concerning his possible sexual encounters, there was nothing appealing in external organs that were supposed to be internal. He had fled quickly. 

So here he was now, lying in a patch of grass in a park in the middle of the city, soaking the last of the setting sun rays before he had to leave. He liked this park. There were schools nearby, and at this time of the day children were running everywhere, their screams and laughs lulling him into some sense of security. _Maybe you just wish you had what these kids have,_ he thought. 

Klaus closed his eyes and concentrated. _Dave_ , he thought. _Dave, come on, it’s me. It’s Klaus._ But nothing happened. Like the previous days, he tried again, and again, until the sky went dark and whistles resonated throughout the park, signalling closing time. 

“It’s alright. You’ll try again tomorrow”, Ben said with a sad smile.

 

* * *

"For fuck’s sake Klaus, can’t you smoke on the fire escape ? This place smells like an ashtray", Five snapped as he entered their tiny appartment. 

"C’mon, it’s raining outside ! You don’t hate me that much, do you ?" Klaus said, perched upside down on the couch. 

Five slammed the door behind him. He went to their small bathroom and emerged with a towel, energically drying his soaked hair. 

"Yeah, I’m aware, thank you", he grumbled, throwing the now wet towel at Klaus‘ face. 

It was pouring outside. It was one of those heavy spring rains, fat drops freshening the hot and leaden atmosphere of the beginning of May. The metal stairs of the fire escape clanged under the shower, the sound filling the room. 

They had moved in around the end of april. Five kept insisting that he wanted his own bed, and Klaus was very much happy to leave their motel room. He wasn’t particlarly fond of those since his torture session with Hazel and Cha-Cha. Not that Five knew about that. 

They had to wait a few days for Klaus’ face to stop looking like he was part of a fight-club, and by this time Five could climb stairs on his own. From there, Klaus had no problem finding a part-time job in a diner. The pay was barely covering their rent, but Five stole what they couldn’t afford to buy. 

As eager as he had been to move out ot the motel, Klaus had wanted to inspect every room of every flat they had visited. He had flat-out refused to enter at least two appartments before this one, his eyes flickering to dark corners where people only he could see were wailing in misery. Five had not argued. He hadn’t been surprised by the amount of violent deaths that owners didn’t know about or volontarily concealed from their tenants. Hell, he would have done the same. 

Still perched on the couch, Klaus crushed the butt of his cigarette into an empty mug with an old logo of a pizza place on it. 

"That’s my mug", said Five, flatly.

 "If you had bothered to put it back in a the cupboard where it belongs, I wouldn’t have used it, but here we are." Klaus rolled on his side, wiggling his eyebrows at his little brother. 

Five huffed, walking past his brother to open the window. "That’s it. I’m getting rid of your cigarettes." 

"You can’t do _that._ You’re not my Dad !" Klaus exclaimed theatrically. 

"Yes I can, and I will." Five grabbed the pack and jumped to the other side of the room – which wasn’t very far to be honest – in a flash of blue. 

"Showoff", mumbled Klaus. 

Five ignored him. "I’m tired of sleeping in cold tobacco stench. The smell sticks to the fabric of the couch, and this couch is currently my bed. So either you promise me you’ll stop smoking inside, or I will make sure you never light a cigarette ever again."

 "Wow, okay, calm down kiddo. I’ll smoke outside okay ? Just- " Klaus made a grabby gesture with his hands. 

Five sighed, but threw the pack back to his brother. "Anyway. On a more important note, I figured out when Diego will land." 

At that, Klaus grew suddenly serious. "And when, pray tell, will our delightful stabby boy join us ?" 

"At the end of the month. According to my calculations-" Klaus let out a quiet chuckle. Come on, ‘ _according to my calculations‘_ ? That was sooo cliché. "- Diego should land sometime during the night between the 27th and the 28th. I _think_ he will land on the docks, just like we did. I will be calculating again in the meantime just to be certain of that." 

Klaus whistled. "Sooo… In less than four weeks, right ? What should we do in the meantime ?" 

"You need to train. We don’t know where or when the Commission will strike us, but believe me they will. And when they do, it would be nice to have Ben fight along with us." Well, _nice_ was an understatement. Five was a very competent fighter, but the Commission had hundreds of trained killers. All it took was one misstep, and everything could go downhill. Five knew his brother could handle himself – he wondered if he was familiar with firearms – but they needed more than just hand-to-hand combat. They needed the Horror.

 "When am I supposed to train ? I already work everyday !" Klaus whined. 

"Well, I’m thirteen. I can’t work. We’d be homeless without your job, so, thank you for your sacrifice. That being said, you only work part-time, so you can practice in the mornings." 

"Hey, there’s nothing wrong about being homeless, I have plenty of good memories, and I met truly inspiring people during those yea-" 

Five interrupted him. "What does Ben say ?" 

Klaus tipped his head and nodded to the empty space on his left. "He says you’re a horrible goblin and that you should be ashamed of enslaving your favorite brother", he answered with a pout. 

Five huffed. "You’re not even my favorite brother." Liar. "What does he really say ?" 

"Fiiine. He says we could practice in the mornings."

 "Wonderful", Five smiled.

 

* * *

 

 "Come- the fuck – on !" Klaus was getting frustrated. He’d been trying to summon Ben for almost an hour, and all he could do was making his brother flickering blue upon the edges. 

"How come it’s so difficult now ? I’ve been sober for weeks !" 

Ben sighed. "I think it’s like a survival instinct. It only manifested when you or someone you cared about was in immediate danger, right ?" 

"Then why do I still see ghosts everywhere ? Why did I have to be stuck with the shittiest power ?"

 "Really ?" Ben raised an eyebrow at that. 

Klaus averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his head. "C’mon, I know, I know you have the worst power. I know, okay ?" he sighed. "But you have to admit that my power is the shittiest one after yours. I mean, I can’t see Dave, I can’t summon you, but seeing horribly dismembered kids passing through the living room, yeah, sure, no problem."

 "Yeah, that one was gross", Ben conceded.

 Ben got up and paced around the room. He seemed to think for a moment. "About Dave…" 

"Yeah ? What about Dave ?" Klaus’ gaze followed his brother closely.

 "Is it possible that… That he passed on ?" 

"Yeah, no, he died a pretty violent way" Klaus said. He got up to open the window and lit a cigarette, not looking at his brother. 

"But we know that sometimes spirits go away even after the most gruesome death, especially after such a long time. If not, we would see _a lot_ more of Middle-Ages burnt witches and scalped Yankees. So maybe he’s… Already gone ?"

 "Twenty-one years is not that long", Klaus exhaled, closing his eyes. 

"But Dad didn’t even linger for a full day." 

Klaus knew Ben was right. It was a possibility. A very _possible_ possibility. But if he admitted it out loud, he would make it real, and he was not ready to accept that he wouldn’t see Dave ever again. Somehow, he had been certain that he would hold him again. Just the thought of never getting him back… He felt tears well up in his eyes. God, he really had the shittiest power after all. Five was right. He was useless. 

He swallowed, trying to fight back the tears. Nope. No way, these were coming out. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his shoulders started to shake.

 Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Ben. Klaus smiled through his tears. "Are you kidding me ?" he hiccuped. Ben drew him nearer, hugging him.

 "It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay."

 Klaus sobbed in the glowing blue of Ben’s chest.

 

* * *

 

When Klaus came back from work the following day, he was suprised to see a rifle on the coffee table, and Five nowhere to be seen. Klaus drew nearer, circling the table. He was about to lay a hand on the weapon when his brother appeared in a flash of blue. Startled, he drew his hand back, placing it over his heart instead. 

"Have you ever heard of doors ? You could use them, sometimes." 

Five furrowed his brows. "What for ?" 

"What for-" Klaus shook his head, exceeded. Five ignored him and headed to the kitchen - well, to the kitchen part of their living room. 

"Hey kid, quick question", Klaus called after him. 

"Yes ? " answered Five, lightly. He was already pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

"That shit is going to kill him one day", Ben commented. 

Five turned around and looked expectantly at Klaus over the rim of his mug. Klaus took a breath. "What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck, Five ? " 

"What do you mean ?" 

"I mean, why is there an assault rifle on the coffe table ? I know you’re messed up, but even after years alone you must know that this is not where you are supposed to put that kind of things" Klaus said, gesturing wildly at the weapon. "Or, excuse me, is it for decoration purposes ? "

 "It’s a gift, actually", said Five, not departing from his casual demeanor. "I figured, you were in Vietnam for ten months. I know what kind of weapons you had to use, and I got you one."

 "What in the world makes you think that I would want to use one again ? " Klaus murmured, stunned. 

"Jesus Klaus, if you don’t want it don’t take it. I just thought you’d rather use a model you were familiar with." Five seemed to think of something. "Unless you’re more comfortable with knives ? I must admit I haven’t thought of that, knives being more of a Diego’s thing but I could find-" 

"I don’t want _knives_. I don’t want to be killing anyone", Klaus said. 

"I know you don’t. But look, if the Commission finds us, we’ll need every single one of your skills", Five reasoned. 

Klaus sighed, scratching his cheek. He knew the boy was right, but something burnt in his chest when he thought of using this particular gun. Guilt ? _I didn’t have a_ choice, he thought, _but then they didn’t either. I took away their choices, just like they took Dave’_ s. Pushing the thought aside, Klaus sat on the couch, looking everywhere but at the rifle.

 "Okay. Okay. Let’s say you’re right. The Commission finds us, we have to fight. You don’t expect me to carry this around with me at all times, do you ? ‘Cause I can already see the looks of the customers-" 

"Oh my God just stop talking." Five looked exasperated. 

"That’s it, you made him mad" Ben piped up.

 "He’s always mad", Klaus hissed. 

"I’m not mad, I’m just worried, okay ? I want to be sure that the we have all the chances on our side. 

Five was really getting better at communicating his emotions. Sure, he still snapped sometimes, and his behavior was still bordering on agressive when he argued with someone, but he _tried_. Klaus could see the effort, and he appreciated it. Most of the time, it was nice, living with his brother. They didn’t have much space, but Five had insisted that Klaus took the bedroom – which was ridiculously tiny, but hey – and that he himself slept on the couch. Said that he didn’t need much sleep anyway. Too much maths to do to be sleeping. Not that Klaus slept much either.

 Sometimes, Ben woke Klaus up so he could check on Five. Klaus would then put on a pot of coffee with as much noise as he could, so he could wake his little brother up without touching him. Five didn’t like to be touched unless he initiated it. 

Sometimes, Five was already making coffee when Klaus gave up on sleep. 

Sometimes, they spoke softly into the night, waiting for the morning to come, too afraid to go back to bed.  

"Alright then. Guess I’ll just, I don’t know, put it there then", Klaus sighed, taking the rifle and wedging it between the couch and the wall.

 

* * *

 

On the 27th of May, Five stood alone on the docks. The sun had just set, leaving a dull grey light behind. Soon the street lamps would light up. Five climbed on the roof of a car. From there he could see where the portal was supposed to open _and_ keep an eye on their surroudings. He settled as comfortably he could with his bag beside him, and waited. 

It felt good, being on watch. During his years at the Commission, Five had come to love those moments. Sometimes they were tense, as he had to follow and run and hide in the shadows. Sometimes, they were quiet, as he watched his target for days, learning, and finally choosing the right moment to take the shot. Paradoxically, Five had found his peace killing innocents. He figured that he must have had lost his empathy somewhere along the way. He was not a _monster_ , no, he _had_ wondered about his actions, whether he had the right to end so many lives just to save his family’s. But everytime he felt doubt creep at the back of his mind, he had remembered : not _just_ for his family. For _everyone_. The Apocalypse would annihilate _everyone._ So, yeah, his actions were justified, in a sense.

 Yet, somewhere along the way, something had broken in him. Five didn’t even know he had something left to be broken when he had followed the Handler. He had shot and sliced and tortured hundreds of innocent people – and mercifully, a few guilty ones – and he had never flinched. Until the day he had sat with his back to a wall and his hands painted red with blood and the body of a child that could have been his sister lying in front of him. On that day he had buried his face in his murderous hands and he had cried until he had shed every fucking tears in his body. Five was an assassin, a good one. The best one. Five was a murderer, and no amount of forgiveness from his siblings would wipe out the blood that was on his hands. Somedays, he felt like it was tattoed on his skin, painting him crimson but never quite covering the black-and-red umbrella.

 And the worst of all was, he didn’t even care. Five was way past the point of self-flagellation, and although he _knew_ he should feel bad, he felt nothing. Delores had acted cold and distant when he had started to work for the Commission. The first few months had been rough, but eventually she had came to agree with him, although Five knew her well enough to detect a hint of melancholy in her voice when she spoke of _before_. He knew she felt sad for him. " _What have I become, my sweetest friend ?_ " he had quoted, but she had stayed silent.

 Yes, Five had learned to appreciate those quiet moments of waiting. Still perched on the roof of the car, he felt a single drop fall on his nose. He lifted his head, eyeing the dark clouds crowding in the sky. Another drop fell on his cheek, then another. Five quickly drew his umbrella from his bag, shielding himself from the pouring rain. He shivered slightly and tugged the hem of his sleeves over his hands. 

Klaus strolled in two hours later, having finished his shift at the diner. He wore a bright green t-shirt with a unicorn on it, proclaiming _BITCH, I’M A UNICORN_ and an agressively purple scarf. The looks were completed by a transparent umbrella with yellow lining, just like the one he used at their father’s funeral. Five wondered where his brother managed to find those.

 "So, what did I miss ?" he asked as he leaned against the car, lighting a cigarette. 

"Not much." 

"When’s he supposed to arrive again ?", Klaus asked, turning to Five. 

Five pursed his lips. "I told you, sometime between now and 2 a.m." 

"Wow, tell me about precision." 

"Yeah, well, maybe _you_ should do the maths, and see what you come up with." 

"That’s awfully condescending." Klaus exhaled in a trail of smoke. Five shivered. 

"You okay, up there ?" asked Klaus. 

"I’m fine." Five was trying his best to hide the fact that he was _freezing_ , after two hours under the rain, despite being partially abrited under his umbrella. Klaus eyed him critically, then unrolled his scarf from his neck and hold it out to Five. 

"I’m not putting this on." 

"Yeah you are, c’mon, you look like an stray puppy." 

Five shot him an irritated look. "I think I’ll pass, thank you." Then shivered violently. 

"That’s it, youg man. You’re going to listen to the adult-" Klaus stuck his cigarette between his lips and threw the scarf around his brother’s neck. "- and the adult says you’re going to catch a cold if you stay like this." 

Five tried to get rid of the purple abomination, but only tangled himself as he protested : "That’s ridiculous ! I told you that-" 

Five was interrupted by the portal opening in a defeaning roar. The wind howled around them, almost strong enough to knock Five off the car. He got down, keeping a hand on the hood, the other untangling himself from the scarf and wrapping it around his neck. Hunching forward, he tried to see something, anything at all in the blue-white mess of the giant vortex. He rolled his eyes as Klaus extended an arm in front of him, preventing him from stepping forward.

 

* * *

  

Diego felt Klaus‘ hand slip from his own. He barely had time to register the loss before he felt invisible forces trying to pull him apart from Five. Heart pouding in his chest, he tried to warn his little brother but the defeaning sound of the vortex covered his voice. His hand was slowly but surely slipping, and he started to panic. He couldn't let go, where was Allison, shit he couldn't see Luther and Vanya either, he couldn't see much at all, he had to grab Five tighter, grab anyone else, where were they where was- 

The last of his fingers slipped from Five's hand, and suddenly he was alone. The vortex was still raging around him but he couldn't see anyone. Diego tried to scream but he couldn't hear his own voice over the howling of the unnatural wind. Trying to stay calm, he screwed his eyes shut and started muttering. "Come on come on come on come on..." 

Then, he felt a different kind of breeze on his face. Hopeful, he opened his eyes to a _hole_ in the vortex. It was dark, and not -not _blue_ , not _overwhelming._ It couldn't be worst than being stuck in a time vortex, right ? So Diego took his chance, and jumped. 

He landed on his side, his good arm taking most of the fall. Concrete ? Disoriented, Diego lifted his head to see Five, sporting a very smug smile, and _what the fuck was he wearing ?_ Next to him stood Klaus, looking relieved, arm extended in front of their little brother. Five lowered Klaus’ arm and headed to Diego sprawled form.

 Diego was confused. His siblings looked different. They looked better than they had a few minutes ago. And- where were they ? They were not at the Icarus anymore. Where were the others ? Behind him, the portal closed in a _whooshing_ sound. There was a few blessed seconds of silence, where Five steps resonated on the empty docks, then the sound of gunshots filled the air.

 Five immediately stopped in his tracks and plunged behind the nearest car, abandoning his umbrella. Diego got up, grunting, and ran in Five’s direction. The rain blinded him, and he thought he was going to be sick when a hand grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him down. Five. 

The car wouldn’t shield them for long. They had to move, get to safety, see who and where their assailants were. Diego was about to say so but turned his head just in time to catch a glimpse of blue where his brother was crouched a few seconds earlier. Of course. Diego breathed through his nose, stomach still not ready for a fight. He unsheathed a knife from his boot and got up, ready to aim.

 Shit. They were too many of them. Maybe two dozens of red-masked assassins had invaded the docks, rifles in their hands, firing without interruption. Diego could see flashes of blue, too quick to follow. He heard a gurgling and one of them fell to his knees, clutching their slit throat. Another flash and a single gunshot, and another collapsed, the back of their head now a mess of blood and brain matter. 

Okay. So, Five didn’t need his help. Diego swallowed, trying to fight back his nausea. Where was Klaus ? Couldn‘t he summon Ben like he’d done earlier ? Diego threw his knife at one of the assassins, taking the opportunity to try to locate his brother. 

Diego spotted him crouching behind a van, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched in front of him. They were faintly flickering blue but Ben was nowhere to be seen. Diego had to act. Five couldn’t keep jumping for ever, and then nothing would stop the Commission’s men. Diego’s ears rang from the neverending gunshots and from the pouring rain. He retrieved two other knives from his belt and jumped into battle. 

 

Five wrenched a knife from the heart of one of the Commission men. He noted with a wry smile that Diego hadn’t lost his touch. Knife in hand, he warped on top of a truck. He took a few seconds to catch his breath, looming over three of their attackers, oblivious to his presence. Their masks, though intimidating and probably gas-proof, were clearly reducing their field of vision. The noise of the shooting had covered the sound of his jump, letting him sneak up on them. Soaked to the bone, blood and rain dripping from his hair onto his face, Five clenched his fingers around the knife’s handle. Then he let himself fall from the roof of the truck, landing on the back of one of the assassins. His knife found his way through their neck, and in a swift movement Five withdrew the blade, already ducking under a punch that aimed for his head. Then, quickly, he shove the knife through the eye of the red mask in front of him. They made no noise as they crumbled, blood oozing under the leather. Five whirled around to take care of the third assassin, but they were already down, another knife embedded into their forehead. Diego’s.

 Five warped back to the car where he had left his bag, grabbing the rifle inside and tossing it to Klaus, still hiding behind a van.

 "Klaus, catch !" 

Klaus caught the rifle, and hesitated only a second before shouldering it with a practiced move.

 "Grab Diego before I shoot ! " he shouted back.

 His brother disappeared, and a a few seconds later came back in a flash of blue, holding a confused-looking Diego by his collar. "Go, we got the most of them but I don’t think I can jump anymore", Five panted.

 Klaus nodded, and came out of their makeshift shelter. From what he could see through the rain, they were only five of them left. Stepping on the corpses-covered ground, he fired. Three of them collapsed. The last two remaining took cover behind cars. 

"Now what ?" Klaus asked his brothers as he stepped back to them.  

Diego turned to Five. "I’m out of knives. Can you jump one last time ? You take the right and I take the left while Klaus distracts them ?" he whispered.

 Five pursed his lips, thinking. "I’ll try", he said, grinding his teeth. 

"No. No no no, Five we’ve talked about this." Klaus grabbed his little brother by the shoulder, locking eyes with him. To Diego’s surprise, Five didn’t flinch. He didn’t even try to push Klaus away. Something passed between them that he couldn’t understand. _What was happening ?  
_

"Fine", huffed Five, breaking free from his brother’s grasp. "Can you cover us ?" 

"Yup. This baby’s almost full", Klaus said with a pat on his gun. 

"Then let’s go. Come on Diego !" 

Diego rolled his eyes. This was ridiculous. Yet he followed his brothers, and as Klaus opened fire and Five ran to the right, he took a left to circle around the remaining assassins. 

But it would have been too simple. Of course, they were trained fighters and had known what to expect. They probably knew by now that Five had overused his powers and from the lack of knives flying at them, they should have gathered that Diego was unarmed. They were waiting for them. One of them raised his gun to Diego head, when a glowing-blue fist connected with his jaw, making his head fly sideways. Ben didn’t waste his time and grabbed the gun from the man’s loosened grip and used it to shoot the last one in the knee. Five smashed the kneeling assassin‘s head through the glass of the car’s window. Diego kicked the one at his feet to make sure he was unconscious before turning to Ben. "Took you long enough." 

"Hey, I can’t control it !" 

"Fair enough." Diego pivoted on his heels. "Klaus, you alright ?" 

The response came a little muffled by the rain. "Yeah. Ben and Five ?" 

Five was catching his breath, leaning against the car. He swallowed, nodding to Ben. 

"We’re good", said Ben.

 "We have to get out of here." 

Diego was pissed. "No shit, Five. Mind to tell me what’s happening ? Where are we ? Where are the others ?" 

"Later. The others are fine for now but we have to move", Five hissed. Sure enough, they could hear police sirens in the distance. Five limped to his umbrella, gesturing at Klaus to do the same. Yeah, not leaving fingerprints would be a good start. Diego hurried to pick up his knives, hoping he wasn’t forgetting any. 

Ben wasn’t visible anymore. The three brothers hurried out of the crime scene, trying to blend in the shadows. Well, Klaus wasn’t exactly inconspicuous in his bright green unicorn t-shirt but then again Five was not much better, covered in blood and wearing a hideous scarf.

 The walk back to their appartment was mercifully short, and they were luky enough not to meet anyone. They climbed the stairs in silence. 

Diego waited until Five had closed the door behind him.  "Can I have an explanation now ?", he snapped. 

Five sighed. "I need a drink. We all need a drink", he said, reaching under the sink.

 "And a change of clothes, kiddo. You’re dripping on the carpet", said Klaus, already stripping. 

Diego felt at lost. They were acting so _casual_. They had just murdered more than twenty persons – those were persons, right ? Not just Commission killer robots, he was pretty sure – and here they were, talking like everything was alright, as if they hadn’t lost their sisters and the giant dumbass they called a brother, as if one of said sisters hadn’t blown up the _moon_ , as if they hadn’t traveled through a time vortex- Oh. A time vortex. Suddenly everything made sense. Their faces, their clothes, the way they talked to each other. They’d been here longer. 

Five shoved a glass of whiskey in his hand. "I’ll drip wherever I want to drip, Klaus." Then he looked at Diego’s bloodied face, thinking. "Upon further reflection I think you’re right." 

Klaus disappeared behind a door, but they could hear him exclaim theatrically : "You hear that Ben ? That’s the second time this week. That’s the second time he said I was right." He emerged from what Diego supposed was a bedroom wearing a grey pullover over a pink skirt. He shoved a hoodie and jogging pants into Diego’s chest. At least those were black. Diego sighed, setting his glass on the coffee table and starting to remove his clothes. He winced when his harness came off, alerting Klaus.

 "You hurt ?" 

"No, it’s just the bullet wound from the shooting at the motel", Diego sighed. 

"Right ! I had forgotten about that. Don’t worry, I’m gonna patch you up. I’m getting real good, y’know ? I had to, with Five wandering around with _shrapnel wounds_." He had almost shouted those last words to be heard through the wall. 

"Speaking of which. Is he okay ?" Diego nodded to the other room, where Five had gone to presumably fetch something else to wear. 

"I’m fine", he answered as he came out of the bedroom, wearing a dry hoodie. He gestured at the couch : "Sit down." Diego followed his directions, as Klaus went to retrieve their first-aid kit.

 Five sat on the armchair, facing him. He sighed deeply before speaking. 

"We travelled back to 1989." He took a sip from his glass. "Klaus, Ben and I landed on the 12th of april, six weeks ago." 

So he’d been right, then. Diego opened his mouth to ask about the rest of their siblings, but Five beat him to it. 

"Allison, Vanya and Luther will land in the following months. You all slipped at different times, and Allison will be the next to join us." 

Klaus came back with bandages and disinfectant. He sat next to Diego, gesturing at him to roll up his sleeve. 

"I can do it myself", muttered Diego, snatching the bottle of disinfectant from his brother’s hands. "So, you’ve been here for six weeks and you what, you just waited ?" 

Five squinted. "And what options do you think we had ?" 

"I don’t know", Diego shrugged. "You’re the time-travel expert here. I just thought you’d, I don’t know, find a way to fix everything." 

"How convenient."

 "Hey, you’re the one who always says you have to do everything alone because we’re useless !" 

"Well maybe I was wrong !" Five snapped. 

That shut Diego up.

"God I missed those family talks", Klaus sighed. He then laughed at something Ben said, but didn’t deem necessary to share. He reached for his pack of cigarettes. "Alright, alright", he muttered when Five glared at him. He huffed and got up to open the window under his brother’s icy gaze. The rain was still pouring outside. 

Diego rubbed a hand on his face. "Okay. So, when is Allison coming ?"

 Five redirected his attention at Diego. "Mid July. I’m not sure when exactly but I’ll figure it out." He set his jaw, clearly preoccupated. "In the meantime we have get ready."

 Diego frowned. "The Commission ?" 

Five nodded.

 "Yeah, speaking of which, how did they find us ?" Klaus asked from the window. 

"The Commission keep watch of the whole space-time continuum. It is possible that my portals emit some kind of energy they could detect. I don’t think they can track my space-jumps, but my _time_ -jumps… They’re a whole different story."

 "Then why didn’t they try to kill us when we first arrived here, then?"

 "That, I don’t know. I don’t even know who’s leading them now. I got rid of the Handler, but as she said to me once… She’s replaceable. She’s just a cog in the machine."

 Klaus blew a raspberry. "We’ll definitely need Allison then." 

"She can’t use her power, Klaus", Diego interjected. 

"That’s not the point. She’s the only one gifted with common sense among all of the Hargreeves children." 

Klaus sighed. "Alright, among all of the _living_ Hargreeves children, sorry Ben."

 Five frowned. "Anyway, I think we’re safe until she gets here. They obviously don’t know where we are staying, and they’ll need the magnetic signature of my portal to know when to come." 

Diego leaned back in the couch. He downed his glass of whiskey in one go, relishing the slight pain as the liquid burned his throat. It settled comfortably in his stomach, bringing a warmth he hadn’t realized he needed. It was a lot to take in. Right now, all he wanted was to sleep for an entire day.

 Klaus closed the window, watching him. "We should call it a night. You can sleep with me, Diego dear, but I prefer to warn you : I’m not into knife-play."

 "I don’t even care at that point. Just point me to where I can crash." 

"C’mon then", said Klaus, holding out a hand to him. He dragged his brother up, directing him to the bedroom. "Good night, kid", Klaus waved Five on their way out.

 Five watched them go, then poured himself another glass of whiskey. God, he missed Delores.

 

* * *

 

The bell jingled as Diego entered the diner. It was cosy, and the soft lights were very inviting. Diego clearly stood out in the warm colors of the booths with his all-black outfit and his collection of knives. He settled at the counter, waiting. 

"Just a second ~", Klaus‘ voice came from the kitchen. He emerged with a tray of brightly colored doughnuts. 

"My my, what do we have here ?", he said upon seeing his brother. "Hungry on the job ?" 

Diego smiled. "I just wanted a cup of coffee. You rock the apron, by the way."

 " _Grazie mille_ , brother mine. Coffee, you said ?" 

"Yeah."

 The diner was almost empty, save from a couple sharing a milkshake and a tired-looking guy reading a journal. Diego watched as Klaus poured him a mug of coffee, the sweet smell rising to his nose. 

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something. You can make Ben corporeal so… Could you- I mean, do you think he would like to talk to me ?"

 Klaus smiled. "I don’t know. Ben, do you ?", he asked, turning to his left. He seemed to listen for a while, then gestured at Diego to move.

 "Go sit in the back, so people won’t thing you’re a madman. I don’t know how long I can  hold it, but I’ll do my best." 

"Thanks", mouthed Diego, following his brother’s directions.

 He had been back for almost a week. He hadn’t found the time to catch up with Ben, or maybe he hadn’t found the courage to do it. He had jumped right back into vigilante duty at night, but he had yet to find a job. He had already tried a few boxing gyms, but none of the owners needed a cleaner. He would have to find another gig soon. He hated the idea of being a burden to his brothers. He could work for his own money, thank you very much. But in the meantime, his nightly activities kept him busy, preventing him to overthink the situation. He was already sporting a split lip, and a bruise was blossoming on his jaw. 

"Busy night, uh ?", Ben asked, appearing in front of him. 

Diego cleared his throat, startled. God, his brother looked the same as when he died, thirteen years ago. 

"Yeah, um, you know how it is", he said, fidgeting with his mug. "It’s good to see you."

 "It’s good to see you too", said Ben.

 "How… How are you ?" 

"I’m…" Ben trailed off, not knowing what to say. "I’m good. God, this is weird." 

"What ?" Diego frowned, worried. 

"It’s just… I haven’t talked to anyone alive since I died, apart from Five, you know. " 

"I can’t imagine." He sighed. "So… You’ve been with Klaus all this time ?" 

Ben nodded. "Yeah, most of the time I’m stuck listening to him or watching him do stupid things, but it works out", he shrugged. 

"I’m sorry." 

"Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault." 

"I know, but still." 

Ben stretched his arms, looking around him. Diego could see that he wasn’t comfortable with where this conversation was going. 

"Oh, thanks for saving my life, by the way", he said, changing the subject. 

" _De nada_. Guess we were lucky, it was the second time I was solid enough to touch anything", Ben smiled. 

"Yeah, lucky I guess", Diego replied, looking over Ben‘s shoulder to Klaus cleaning a table, turning his back to the clients so they couldn’t see his glowing hands. "Is he okay, working here ?", he whispered. 

"Well, it’s the longest I’ve seen him keep a job, and so far he seems to do okay. It helps that we don’t sell alcohol here, I’ll give you that", Ben answered with a low voice.

 "Yeah, I’ve never seen him so…"

 "Not high ?" Ben supplied. 

"… Yeah. He seems better. You look good too." 

"Thanks. I’ve been working out, trying to stay fit, you know."

 "Really ?", Diego asked, confused. 

"What ? Of course not, I’m joking", Ben chuckled. 

And with that, Diego felt like he had his brother back. He felt like a teenager again, cracking stupid jokes with his brother, only this time there was no Reginald looming over their shoulders to ensure they didn’t have fun. It felt good.

 

* * *

 

 "I’m going to kill myself."

 Ben put down his book. "What ? No." 

"I don’t mean like- permanently or whatever, I’m just gonna get a tiny bit dead and then come back", Klaus explained, trying to sound reasonable.

 "I don’t know how and why you think that would be a good idea but I can assure you it’s not."

 "I’m not asking for your permission, Ben. I’m _informing_ you." 

Klaus flopped down on the couch, hands fidgeting. He couldn’t stay put for more than a few minutes at a time. His mind was _spinning_. How could he not have thought of this earlier ? If Dave couldn’t come to him, he would come to Dave. Now all that was left was _how._ He would prefer a quick and painless method, but also one that wouldn’t leave a mess for himself to clean up after (or for Five if he was too successful and ended up permanently dead. The poor kid was already messed up as he was). That left out the vein-opening method, and the bullet to the head. He couldn’t jump from a window, not without traumatizing everyone on the street. He could take pills. But that was… Probably not the best way, not for him. Not after two months sober. Cracking his skull open on the edge of the sink would be quite efficient, but would also leave a shit-ton of blood to wipe. That left…

 Klaus bit his lip, thinking. Cons : drowning was probably very uncomfortable. And slow. But, pros : nothing to clean up, and very efficient. _Technically_ , it was even painless. He would have to make it quick, though. Five and Diego would be home in less than an hour.

 Ben interrupted his train of thought, waving a hand in front of him. 

"Klaus, listen to me. I said _no_. That’s a very bad idea. We don’t know where Dave is. We don’t know if you’ll go to the same place if you die. We don’t know if you can come back from that place. We don’t know _anything_ , Klaus." 

"Of course I’m coming back. That little girl _hates_ me", Klaus chuckled. 

"I don’t care, we are not doing this." 

"Yeah, you’re right. _We_ are not. I am." And with that Klaus got up, heading to the bathroom. 

"Klaus come back. Now. Klaus !" Ben tried to grab his brother’s arm but only went through him. "That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done." 

"No it’s not. Remember why I went to jail ? _That_ was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done." 

Klaus started filling the bathtub. 

"Klaus, I am begging you."

 Klaus sighed, rolling his eyes. "Please stop. It‘s just a quick trip, I’ll be back before you know it. " He sat on the edge of the bathtub. "Seems like I can’t stay dead, anyway", he muttered. 

Ben didn’t know what to do. He was stuck with his stupid suicidal brother trying to off himself in front of him, and he was as powerless as always. Ben wanted to scream, like all those times he had to watch him pump himself full of poison, all those times he had to watch him overdosing and not even caring when he woke up, like all those times he had seen him follow strangers in dark alleys. Ben had seen so, so much fucked up things since he was stuck with his brother, but in all those years Klaus had never said the words aloud. He had never said  "I want to kill myself", and now that he did Ben felt like those words chilled him to the bone. Ben felt like screaming until his had no voice left to reason with his idiot brother.

Klaus entered the bathtub fully clothed, hands on his ears to block his brother’s shouts.

 

* * *

 

 Ben sat with his back to the bathtub, elbows resting on his knees. His eyes snapped open at the sound of the keys jingling at the door. Five. Diego. Ben silently prayed for them to realize that something was wrong. He had no mean to warn them, nothing to make them _hurry_. The door slammed behind them.

 "- and I’m not saying you should stop but maybe you could slow it down, you know ? It’s not good for your health. "

 "What do you think you are ? My _mother_? I am fifty-eight Diego. I’ve lived a long life without you hovering over me like a fucking mother hen. "

 A sigh.

 "Alright, alright. Go ruin your perfectly fine young body with underage drinking. We’ll have this discussion again in ten years."

 "Awfully bold of you to assume we’ll be alive by the end of the month."

 "Oh, that’s it , you have reached your emo phase ? Everything’s dark, we’re all going to die, what is worth living for… Terribly cliché, especially for a thirteen years old."

 Ben heard footsteps heading toward the bathroom. 

"I'm not the one dressing like I'm going to a funeral, and carrying enough knives to-"

 "Yeah yeah, save your breath."

 Ben saw the door handle jiggle, but the door stayed shut. _Please don’t go,_ he thought, his feverish gaze fixed on the handle. _  
_

On the other side of the door, Diego frowned. "Klaus ?"  He knocked. When his brother failed to answer, he knocked more insistently. "Klaus ? Come on you in there ?"

  _He must have his headphones on_ , Diego thought. But something creeped at the back of his mind. Something about Klaus, high off his ass and sleeping the floor. Klaus, drinking an entire bottle of vodka by himself. Klaus, just out of rehab. Diego tried to shake the feeling away, without success. He banged against the door.

 "Klaus, if you don’t answer I’m going to kick the door open."

 "What’s going on ?" Five asked.

 "Klaus is not answering."

 Diego felt panic rise in his throat. He tried to turn the handle one more time, then slammed his shoulder on the door. The lock gave immediatly, and Diego stumbled into the bathroom just as Five appeared in a flash of blue.

 There was a half-second of silence before they both rushed to the bathtub. It was full, and Klaus was laying in it with his head submerged. Diego lurched forward, grabbing their brother by his clothes, hauling him out of the water. Five immediately went to support his back, so Diego could put his arms under his shoulders and lift him out of the tub. He laid him on the cold tiles, Five‘s hands shooting to cushion his head before it hit the floor. 

"What the- what happened ? What did he _do_?", Diego asked, putting a trembling hand on Klaus‘ chest. His soaked clothes were spreading a puddle of lukewarm water around them. Five put two trembling fingers under his jaw, trying to find a pulse. There was none.

 Heart in his throat, Five looked at Diego and slowly shook his head. Diego’s moved his palms over Klaus‘ chest, muttering to himself : "No. No no no no no." 

Five clenched his fingers in the fabric of Klaus‘ t-shirt, shaking. He bent over his brother’s head, eyes screwed shut, trying not to cry. Five wouldn’t cry this time. He had cried enough the first time around. He couldn’t go through this. Not _again_. He tipped his head back, trying to hold back his tears. He didn’t even know if those were tears of grief or tears of anger. Maybe a bit of both. Grief at the sight of his brother’s corpse, not cold yet but just as dead as he had been in the burning rubbles of the Academy, forty-five years ago. Anger at himself, for not having picked up the hints, for underestimating Klaus‘ self-destructive behaviour. Suddenly Five wasn’t sure where he was anymore. He was simultaneously kneeling on the wet floor of their bathroom, clutching Klaus‘ t-shirt, and standing in the scorched remains of their childhood home, watching Klaus‘ hollow eyes fixed on the ground. He felt the familiar taste of ashes in his mouth, but his knees were drenched in cold water. _Not now_ , he thought. _Please, not now_.

 He distantly registered the rustling of Diego getting up. The sound was followed by a loud thud when his brother punched the wall.

 "Fuck !", he yelled. 

The sound startled Five out of his vision. He tried to say something, anything, but his throat suddenly closed up, his voice refusing to obey him.

 "Fuck", Diego repeated, softer. 

There was a silence, only broken by the wet sounds of the dripping tap. 

Then Klaus awoke with a jerk, coughing water everywhere. Five immediately rolled him on his side so he could empty his lungs. Diego was there in a second, dropping to his knees and helping Five maneuvering their brother.

 Klaus coughed for what felt like an eternity, and finally let out in a rasp : "Oh, shit."

 "Are you alright ? What were you _thinking_?" Diego asked, too loud. 

Five simply moved his hand to Klaus‘ neck, feeling the steady pulse under his fingers. He tipped his head back; breathing through his nose. _Get a grip of yourself, Number Five._

 "I…" started Klaus, voice hoarse. "I wanted to see Dave." His voice was no more than a weak whisper. 

"We gotta get him dry", Five said, already moving to strip Klaus of his cold, soaked clothes. Diego was quick to follow, his hands moving with efficiency. Together they managed to wrap Klaus in a dry towel, Diego lifting him from the floor and carrying him to the couch. He sat next to him, rubbing his arms through the towel. Five shoved a warm cup of tea – since when did they have tea in this house ? – in his trembling hands, then seated himself in the armchair.

 "You were dead", he stated, harshly.

 "Ouch, that’s rude. I’m right here, talking and breathing, see ?" Klaus tried to make a jazzy hand but nearly dropped his cup in the process. 

"Klaus. What happened ?" 

Klaus sighed, annoyed. "I was just testing a new method !" He huffed under his brother’s hard stare. 

"A new method", Five repeated flatly. 

"Yeah" Klaus said, but didn’t elaborate.

 "So let me get this straight : you killed yourself so you could see your boyfriend again, and you thought you could just come back after that ?"

 "Yes ! " Klaus exclaimed.

 Good. So he hadn’t actually wanted to die then. Five felt a weight lifted off his chest. Then Klaus added : "It worked the last time, so I figured, why not try again ?"

 "Wait, what ? What last time ?" Five asked, squinting.

 Klaus tensed, then answered slowly. "In the club. With Luther."

 "What do you mean, with Luther ? What happened ?"

 "I tried to stop some guy who was going to punch Luther – I think he was dancing with his girlfriend. She thought he was a furry," he chuckled. "Then that guy shoved me and I must have hit a wall or something ‘cause next thing I know I’m in heaven, and everything looks like a daltonian nightmare – except my top, I’ve always loved that one, you know the one with the palm trees ? – and then I met God, and then she told me she didn’t like me and I was like ‘I don’t care, I’m an agnostic‘ but then she pointed me to a weird barbershop and dear old Dad was there and I barely got the time to speak with him before I went back, and then everyone was looking at me so I just got home with Ben, and-"

 "Wait, where was Luther ?" Five intervened.

 "Oh he took the furry back to the Academy. Can you _believe_ that he finally popped his cherry ? That must have been quite a spectacle, if you ask me."

 "He did what now ?", Diego asked way to calmly.

 Klaus shrugged. "He did the dirty with a giant rabbit ?"

 "No, before that." Diego’s voice was dangerously low now. "Are you saying that you died trying to protect Luther and that he left you alone in some club ?"

 "In his defense he was pretty out of it, he wasn’t very coherent. He almost choked me when I refused to help him get high, so…" Klaus trailed off, shrugging.

 "I’m going to kill him", Diego said.

 Five was frowning. "Wait. You actually met God ?" Klaus nodded. "And what, she just sent you back ? "

 "Pretty much, yeah."

 Five bit his lip. "Alright. Then what happened today ? Did she send you back again ?"

 "Yeah… She wasn’t too happy to see me." Klaus‘ gaze wandered on the wall. "I still don’t know if I have some part to play on earth of if she genuinely doesn’t like me, but yeah, she sent me back again."

 "Did it work ? ", Five asked after a short silence.

 Klaus’s gaze stayed fixed on the wall. "No", he answered softly. His shaking had subsided a little, but he still looked like a mess, eyeliner dramatically running down his cheeks and wet hair sticking to his forehead. Five and Diego exchanged a look. They needed to have a conversation, but it would have to wait. First, they had  to take care of Klaus.

 

* * *

 

 "Did you know about this ?", Diego asked, agressively pointing to the bedroom where Klaus was snoring softly.

 "Jesus, of course not ! Do you really think I would have left him alone if I thought he would kill himself ? " Five replied, angry.

 "I don’t know, Five, you have a tendency to _fuck off_ when people try to talk to you, so maybe you could have missed something !"

 That… Was actually true. But Five was working on it. "I won’t argue about whether or not I’m a bad brother, but I can assure you he never mentioned this to me. He never said a word about God, Heaven or Luther hurting him."

 "I’m going to stab him", Diego said, exhaling through his nose.

 "No you’re not. I can’t believe it’s me saying this, but you can’t run around stabbing people, Diego. Especially not our brother."

 "I don’t care if he’s my brother, he deserved to be stabbed. You know what, after all he’s done, accusing us of murder, leaving Klaus to die, locking Vanya in the basement, after all that I don’t think he has any right left."

 "Hey." Five snapped his fingers in front of Diego’s face. "He’s an asshole, but he is still our brother. We’ll fix him, too."

 "You know what Five ? I liked you better when you threatened people with bloody murder at the slightest inconvenience. Don’t you care that he almost killed Klaus ?"

 "Shut up. " Five snapped. "You don’t know _anything_ about me. You think I’m gonna let Luther off that easy ?"

 Diego took a step back, startled at the change of tone. Five’s voice had gone dangerously low, and there was a manic edge to his words. Suddenly Diego remembered his brother standing among corpses, covered in blood. He remembered the wildness in his eyes as he had ripped a man’s throat open.

 Five stepped closer to Diego. "I am going to have a nice little chat with Luther. And I will  personally make sure he won’t ever hurt anyone of us again", he said, his voice carrying so much anger that it gave Diego chills. Diego had always had anger-management issues, but Five… Five was on a whole different level.

 Five straightened, getting out of Diego’s personal space. "But first, we have to take care of Klaus. Obviously, we can’t leave him alone anymore. I’d like to have a chat with Ben, too." 

Diego nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I bet he has interesting things to say."

 

* * *

 

Ben did not have interesting things to say. In fact, he barely talked at all. He stood by the window, turning his back to his brothers. There was a blue edge to his features that was echoed by the light flickering of Klaus hands. 

Klaus sat on the floor, knees drawn to his chest, pouting.

 "C’mon Ben, say something."

 "I’ve already said what I needed to say. Fuck you."

 Klaus grimaced behind Ben’s back, but neither Five nor Diego smiled. They were both sitting with their arms crossed, waiting.

 "Okay, I’ll start. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I un-permanently killed myself, and that you had to watch me do it."

 "Oh so _now_ you’re sorry ?", Ben said as he turned to face his brother. "How about you _listen to me_ for a change ? I told you that was a shitty idea."

"Yeah you did ! Okay, alright, but I had to try !"

 "You _always_ have to try ! It’s- Fuck, why do we have to do this in front of them ?" Ben asked, gesturing at Five and Diego.

 "Because we’re not leaving Klaus out of our sight anytime soon _and_ because we’re a family, and that is a family matter", Five answered.

 "Oh, riight. So now Klaus’ well-being is a family matter, uh ? Where were all of you, all those years ? Everyone let him down, and _now_ it’s a family matter ? You didn’t even believe him when he told you he was sober ! You didn’t believe him when he said I was there !"

 Five said nothing. He knew Ben’s anger was more directed at the rest of his siblings than at him – he was the only one who hadn’t chosen to leave, after all – but still, it hurt.

 "We’re sorry, okay ?", Diego exclaimed, losing his calm. "We’re sorry. But now we want to make things right."

 Ben chuckled bitterly. "Make things right, uh ? And how exactly do you plan to do that ? "

 "First, we talk to each other. We stick together. All of us", said Five. " _All_ of us", he repeated, locking eyes with Diego. Then, turning to Ben : "We won’t leave Klaus alone anymore."

 "Uuh, guys ? You know I’m here, right ? Can I have a say in this ?", Klaus asked from the floor.

 "No more secrets", Five insisted, keeping his eyes on Ben. He saw a muscle flicker on his jaw, but he didn’t respond.

 Klaus sighed, burying his head in his hands. He knew nothing he could say would make his brothers change their minds. He knew Ben was right to be angry. Nobody should have to witness their brother’s suicide attempt – was it an attempt ? Technically he had been successful – however Five and Diego had nothing to worry about. He hadn’t wanted to die. Not really. He had just wanted to see Dave, nothing more. _Nothing more._ But the worst of all of this was that he hadn’t even gotten to see his lover. He had just wandered into the grey woods, calling for him, until he was pulled back to the world of the living. Klaus sighed deeply. Now his brothers wouldn’t leave him alone, so he was stuck with three of them instead of one, which was just, not fair, considering that themselves had pretty destructive behaviours too – Five just ran into the line of fire and couldn’t be bothered to tend to his wounds, and Diego came back every morning with new bruises on his face. Klaus felt trapped.

 "I want to go to Dave’s grave", he said.

 Five, Diego and Ben looked at him.

 "Okay, I know he’s buried in Vietnam. But I mean, I want to go to a memorial."

 His brothers exchanged a look.

 "Sure", Five said.

 

* * *

 

They ended up going to Washington. It was a three-hours long journey, and Klaus and Diego had taken turns driving. Five hadn’t protested. It wouldn’t do to be pulled over for having a kid behind the wheel. Well, Five wasn’t really bothered by the idea of getting arrested, but more by the fact that it could get to the ears of the Commission. He had, however, insisted to ride in front of the car. Klaus had forced them to listen to Tears for Fears during most of the ride, and when they finally got out of the car Diego caught himself humming _Change_. He shook his head, hoping no one had heard him.

 Klaus stretched ostensibly, then whirled around, making his pink skirt fly around him. He wore his purple scarf over a tank top that proclaimed "CAUTION : HOT – HANDLE WITH CARE". He leaned against the car, lighting a cigarette.

 Diego hovered next to him, as Five took a few steps around.

 "Do you want us to wait here ?", Diego asked.

 Klaus shrugged. "You guys can come if you want. I’m sure he would have wanted to meet you", he said as he pushed himself from the car and headed toward the dark wall of the memorial.

 The sun was shining bright, reflecting on the polished stones. It was a nice and warm day. His siblings shared a look.

 "Well, what are you waiting for ?", Klaus called over his shoulder.

 His brothers followed him slowly, stepping on the grass. Five smiled. Maybe, just maybe, things would be alright after all.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family is always complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, sorry for the long wait (you know that meme from The Simpsons, with Lisa wondering « Am I finishing my degree or is my degree finishing me ? » ? That’s me.)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented or left kudos on the last chapter, it means the world to me. 
> 
> Again, english isn’t my first language and this is unbeta-ed, so I apologize for the mistakes and typos (re-reading the first chapter, I realized that I used words that I thought were transparent, but must have seemed odd to you).

"You can’t go out like that", Diego said without looking up from his book. Klaus stopped in his tracks. He had been about to open the door when his brother had spoken.

 "My, Diego ! And I thought you accepted me as I am. So much for family support, I guess", Klaus answered, sounding a little hurt.

 "I don’t care about the _skirt_ , you idiot. But you can’t go to work with _that_ ", Diego said, gesturing at Klaus‘ chest.

"Oh !", Klaus exclaimed. Then, looking down at his shirt that spelled _S-L-U-T_ in bright pink letters : "Oh, yeah, right. My bad."

 Diego said nothing, eyeing patiently his brother.

 " _Alriiight,_ I’ll change. But you, sir, are no fun", Klaus said, pointing his index at Diego accusingly. He stormed out of the room muttering to himself.

 Diego sighed, putting his book down. It was not easy living with two of his brothers. He had been living alone for so long, he had somehow forgotten how to act around others. It didn’t help that his brothers‘ sleeping patterns were erratic at best, and more often than not when he came home in the hours before dawn, they were both sipping coffee on the couch. Now, don’t get him wrong, Diego liked to be greeted with the smell of fresh coffee, and usually his brothers kept quiet, almost never arguing before the sun got up. But it also meant that he had no moment just for himsel _f_ , no sneaking discreetly into their home, no silence to echo his thoughts. And though it might be for the better, as he didn’t seem to be able to get his thoughts off of Eudora, it also meant that Klaus and Five got to see the scraps and bruises he collected during the nights. Although they never said a thing – Diego suspected it was out of the assumption that if they kept to themselves, then he would return the favor – Diego saw the concern in their eyes when he grunted in pain, getting his harness off, or when he limped toward the bathroom without saying a word. To their credit, they had tried to talk him out of it. They had also tried to stitch him up the first time he came home bloody, but he had made clear that he didn’t want their help. Personal boundaries, y’all. Well. As much as you could have personal boundaries when you had to sleep in the same bed as your brother.

 Klaus and Five had gotten close during those weeks before he’d got here, that much was certain. It was the little details, Five letting Klaus putting a hand on his shoulder without flinching, Klaus asking Five his opinion on a sequin dress – Five had made a strange face but had answered quietly that he liked the sequins – or Five buying (stealing ?) Klaus‘ favorite brand of coffee despite not liking it himself.

 Diego kind of felt apart from them, but then again he had never been close to any of his siblings. When they were children, Five and Vanya were pretty close, not as much as Luther and Allison – and not in such a disturbing way – but enough to make Diego feel _apart_. Ben mostly kept to himself, and Klaus had started to avoid his siblings pretty early. 

 Diego wondered how everything would have turned out if they had been raised in a loving and caring household. Seeing his brothers so comfortable around the other made him wish he had grown up closer to his siblings, not being made to compete with them on a daily basis. He also wished their father hadn’t scarred them so badly that even now they refused to talk about the specifics of their respective trainings. Diego knew that apart from Vanya, they all had to face their personal fears in order to master their abilities, but he’d never asked what exactly their father had done to them – or what he’d made them do. He shuddered at the thought of his own training. Suddenly his book – _Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea_ – wasn’t so appealing anymore. He got up as Klaus entered the room again, wearing another t-shirt with a pretty innocent picture of a cupcake on it.

  "Better now ? " he asked, grabbing his keys.

 "Yeah, sure. Way more fit for your job."

 "A bit _cliché,_ if you want my opinion." Klaus paused, tapping a finger to his chin. "I’m thinking of something."

 "Oh boy", muttered Diego.

 "Don’t be like that ! ", Klaus chastised him. "Come get me after work, I have an idea. Tell Five to come too if you see him. Oh, and bring the car !", he added before slamming the door behind him.

 Diego sighed. It had been three weeks after Klaus‘ suicide attempt, and though they never left him alone in the appartment anymore, they had agreed to let him go to work on his own. He hadn’t wanted to die, Diego kept thinking. But even so, he still got flashes of Klaus‘ pale skin under soaked clothes, chest unmoving. He’d been dead. He’d been dead and somehow, Diego felt like it was his fault. How desperate must someone be to drown themselves on a bathtub ? How blind had he been not to see Klaus struggling so much with his grief ?

 

* * *

 

Diego parked in the diner’s parking lot at 23 p.m., his fingers drumming on the wheel. Despite both windows being down, the air was hot and heavy in the car. Diego got out and waited for his brother. 

Klaus‘ face lit up upon seeing him, as if he had doubted his brother would come. _As if I was able to say no to this moron_ , Diego thought.

 

* * *

 

"I'm not going in there", said Diego. 

" Come ooon !", Klaus pleaded. "How come every single time I propose a new activity you turn me down ?"

 "Maybe because your ideas are shitty to begin with ?"

 Klaus pouted. "It'll be fun. Please ?"

 Diego sighed, his gaze trying to avoid his brother's puppy eyes. They were standing in front a fence, lighted only by the headlights of their car. Diego eyed the swimming pool that laid beyond that fence warily. "This is private property, Klaus." There was nothing around them apart the small building on the side. It was a small countryside swimming pool, hidden beneath a small patch of trees, and it was closed for the night.

 "You're joking, right ? _You_ of all people, lecturing me about trespassing ?" Klaus laughed. "Five told me you jumped through a glass door that wasn’t even locked."

 Diego frowned. "There is no reason to trespass here. No one's in danger, there's no apocalypse to stop, no nothing."

 "There is only one reason, brother mine. And that reason is fun !", Klaus exclaimed, hands already feeling the thick chain keeping the gates closed. " _That,_ is a big-ass lock", he muttered to himself. On the other side of the fence, Ben was almost hopping with excitation. He loved swimming pools. "You could just climb over ?", he chirped.

 "Don't encourage him", Diego said, shooting a meaningful glance at Ben, who replied with a large smile.

 Diego looked at his brothers, biting his lip. They just seemed so happy. He knew that Ben had been distant in the last few weeks, but seeing him smiling so openly at Klaus, he assumed that they had made peace at some point. They had been practicing, and Klaus was now able to make him corporeal longer, sometimes up to an hour.

 Diego rubbed the back of his neck, huffed, and rolled his eyes. "Hang on", he said, turning back to the car. Klaus whistled in admiration as he pulled a bolt cutter from the trunk. "Don‘t", he warned as Klaus opened his mouth, but in vain.

 "My, my, Diego. What do you need that for ? Have you beaten people up with that thing ? What happened to the "no trespassing" rule ?"

 "I need it to commit a little B&E with my brothers, now shut up and let me work."

 A minute later, the three of them were standing on the cream-tiled edge of the pool.

 "Wait a second, I know where the lights are !", Klaus exclaimed, already bolting toward the small building.

 "And you know this how, exactly ?", Diego called after him.

 "Oh I worked here for a month. Well, for a month, in 2015, but, still."

 "Yeah. Right." Not for the first time, Diego thought about the fact that he had no idea what Klaus did during the last ten years. Sure, he had seen him a couple times, mostly because Klaus‘ needed a couch to crash on – and a wallet to steal, but Diego had quickly taken to hide it when Klaus was there – but still, he didn’t know anything about his life. He sighed.

 The pool was suddenly illuminated by underwater lights, bathing the deck chairs in surreal blue waves. Diego had to admit, it looked pretty fucking amazing.

 Then, a very naked Klaus jumped in the water, braking his contemplation, splashing everywhere. He emerged just in time to dodge Ben, who had mercifully kept his underwear on. How the fuck did it work anyway ? Did his ghost-clothes exist as part of his own spirit ? Could he change them ? Could they get wet and then dry ?

 Klaus‘ voice pulled him out of his reflections. "Come on Diego, what are you waiting for ?"

 "What ? No. I agreed to come in with you, not to get wet."

 "That’s what she said", Klaus said, echoed by a "Really ?" from Ben, spitting water.

 "I’m fine staying here", Diego said, sitting on a deck chair. "I’m the lookout."

 "The look- No, Diego, you _have_ to join us. It was the whole point of us getting here, so we could have fun, _all_ of us. Except for Five because Five is an asshole today."

 Diego hadn’t seen their younger brother all day, so he had left a note on the fridge saying that he and Klaus were taking the car for the night. Hoping he wasn’t in trouble, but his power made it ridiculously difficult to keep track of his comings and goings, so Diego had dropped the idea of trying to find him. Which could be dangerous, because if he _was_ indeed in trouble then none of his brothers could help him. But, hey. Five was still Five.

 " _I_ don’t have to do anything apart from sitting here and watch to make sure that none of you drowns."

 "Low blow", Klaus answered in a mock-hurt tone. There was a silence during which Diego settled more confortably, looking pointedly at his brother.

 "Anyway", Klaus said, "You have to get in here because how else are we going to water-wrestle ?"

 "I’m not going to water-wrestle anyone."

 "Not with that attitude, you won’t. Come-oon ! " Klaus pleaded. He swam to the edge of the pool, crossing his arms and resting his chin on them. "Look, it doesn’t have to be a competition, I don’t stand a chance anyway, with Ben being dead and you being able to breathe under water, but-"

 "Shut up." Diego had spoken quietly. "Please, shut up", he added, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking everywhere but at Klaus.

 Klaus frowned, and exchanged a look with Ben. "Are you… Are you alright, Diego ?"

 Diego breathed through his nose, still not meeting Klaus‘ eyes. "I’m fine. I’m just not getting into the water. Not now, not ever. Not unless I have no other choice."

 "Oh", was all that Klaus could answer. It made sense. Thinking back, he realized that he hadn’t seen his brother swim since they were eleven, when he had to dive to save Luther from drowning in a lake. That was the last time their mission had involved a large body of water. He never had the occasion to see his brother swim after that, although he remembered seeing Diego getting out of his personal sessions with Dad with wet hair and a hollow look on his face.

 "I’m sorry. I didn’t think… I hadn’t realized."

 Diego shook his head, chuckling bitterly. "How could you ? Dad made sure to make us train separately. You didn’t understand what he did to me just as I didn’t understand what he did to you. "

 "I should have seen", Klaus answered softly. "He locked you up. See how long you could hold your breath." Not a question. "Let me guess. He locked you up and ignored your screams, writing on his damned notebook."

 Diego frowned. How did Klaus know that ?

 "He locked me up too. In the mausoleum", he said with a soft smile, answering his brother questioning glance. "I was in there for hours, crying for help, until I had no voice left."

 "He…" Diego hesitated. "He put me in a tank of water. Closed it. He got me out when I passed out from the lack of oxygen." He put a hand around the base of his throat instinctively. "Sometimes it was hours."

 "Yeah, Dad was a prick." A pause. "But _damn_ , hours ? I didn’t think you could hold on that long."

 "Yeah I didn’t think either", Diego snorted. "Do you think he locked the others up ? I mean, apart from Vanya."

 "He never locked me up", Ben said, joining Klaus at the edge of the pool. "I don’t think it would have been useful to lock Luther, Allison or Five up, not with their powers. But I have no doubts that he found a way to traumatize them some other way. Although with Five it’s difficult to know whether the trauma comes from the Apocalypse or from Dad", he added.

 "And I’m not about to ask him", Klaus said. "Hey can you hand me my pack of cigarettes ?"

 

* * *

 

 

When they came home a few hours later, Five was sprawled over the couch, and empty bottle of vodka by his side.

"Is he… ?" Diego whispered.

"M‘not drunk", Five drawled without opening his eyes. "Just tired."

"You sound drunk, brother mine. Rough day at school ?" Klaus piped up.

"Fuck off."

"Something you want to share with the class, maybe ? Something worthy of drinking an entire bottle by yourself ?"

"T‘was only half-full. I know when Allison’s landing", Five said, as the master of the non-sequitur that he was.

"Well, we’re all ears", Klaus said.

"Fourteenth of July", Five slurred.

"Alrighty. That’s in a little more than two weeks, so we have plenty of time to prepare ourselves. We could-"

"The Handler sent me a message."

_There it is_ , Klaus thought. _That explains the vodka._ He and Diego waited for Five to elaborate.

"Sh’wanted to meet. I burned it. Didn’t answer."

_I thought she was dead_ , Diego mouthed to Klaus. _Me too_ , he mouthed back, puzzled.

"Sh’must be new. Or he, I don’t know."

"Okay. So how bad is it ?", Diego asked.

"Bad." Five started to drift off.

Diego took two long strides and snapped his fingers in front of the boy’s face. Startled, Five opened his eyes.

" _How bad ?_ "

"Sh‘knows when we are. Sh‘knows where we are."

"So how come we’re not dead ?" Diego asked.

"I dunno yet. M’gonna figure it out. Think she wants to catch us all. Make an example out of us. Out of me."

From what Diego knew about Five’s job at the Commission and how he’d quit – twice – he figured that the Handler would want to take him down for all to see. Maybe that was the only reason he hadn’t been shot down yet. He shivered. They would probably come for Klaus and himself too. Anything to get to Five.

"Shit." Behind him, Klaus sighed, scratching the back of his head. "There‘ nothing we can do tonight anyway."

Diego nodded, grabbing the empty bottle. Five didn’t protest. His breathing had slowed to an even sleeping pattern. Diego covered him with the blanket he usually slept with.

 

* * *

 

The following morning, Five was already on his third cup of coffee when Diego emerged from the bedroom.

"How’s the hangover ?", he asked, yawning.

"What hangover ?"

"For Christ’s sake Five, that was half a bottle."

"Perks of being young again. Coffee ?"

"You have an alcohol problem."

"No shit, Diego."

Diego accepted the mug anyway, watching his brother. He seemed… Unconcerned ? How could he seem so composed, knowing the Commission could get to them anywhere, anytime ?

 "Are we going to talk about the Handler’s message ? Are we going to adress that as a family or are you going to run away and do it on your own, as you always do ?"

Five put down his mug. "First of all, fuck you. You’re the one who disappear every night." Five waited for his words to sink in, then resumed. "I have a plan. You’ll probably like it. It’s simple, straightforward and there’s a good chance you’ll have to fight."

Diego raised an eyebrow.

 

* * *

 

On the 14th of July, Five stood alone on the docks, enjoying the silence in the grey light of dawn. It would be at least an hour before the workers started their day, and he was pretty sure Allison would arrive before that. He stood with his hands in his pockets, the sleeves of his shirt pulled up to his elbows. It was a little unnerving, waiting alone, exposed in the middle of the docks, but he pushed the feeling down, choosing to trust his siblings instead. Diego was hiding inside a old warehouse, a hundred meters to his left, and Klaus was perched on the roof of the low building on his right, along with Ben and his rifle. All Five had to do was grab Allison and jump to safety. His brothers were there _just in case_ – just in case he suddenly couldn’t use his power, just in case he was too slow and got shot before he jumped.

Five tensed as he felt the static electricity filling the atmosphere. Not a minute later, the portal opened in front of him, close enough that he could feel the familiar energy tingling in his hands in a faint echo. Suddenly, Allison frame appeared in the vortex, and he took a step closer to catch her before she fell.

Then, everything froze. _Oh, shit_ , Five thought. That could only mean one thing. He felt the hair stand on the back of his neck. Suppressing a shiver, he turned around and found himself facing a tall and elegant woman. She was dressed in a white, flowery dress that contrasted with her tanned skin, and her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders. She wore high heels, and her hands were joined in front of her, holding a briefcase.

"Hello, Number Five", she smiled politely.

Five took his time before answering. "I never had the pleasure", he finally said.

"Oh, silly me. I’m the Handler. Well, the new one, that is. It’s an honor to meet you. You know, you’re quite a legend at the Commission."

"Oh I know. I left quite a mess when I quit. I assume you don’t mind the promotion, though."

"Clever you", she replied pleasantly. "Sharp as always. I have come to offer you a deal."

Five scoffed. "Of course you are. And what makes you think I’d be inclined to accept your offer ? It didn’t end well the last time I agreed to work with you."

"Well, my offer is very simple", the Handler said, her teeth too bright in the morning sun. "You killed _a lot_ of our employees, and I have a feeling that if we send more after you they would end up just as dead as the first ones. However, I can’t let you alter the natural course of events. The Apocalypse can’t be stopped, and since you insist on trying to prevent it we have no choice but to get rid of you. So we are going to let you – and your siblings – retire to the period of your choice, in exchange for your word that you won’t try to further interfere with the time continuum."

Five frowned. "So you want me to condamn the whole human race to extinction in exchange for my family’s immunity ?"

"Well, I read your file. You were never one to care about humanity, as you say. Your sole purpose for forty-five years was to get back to your family, to save them. Not the world. I believe that you care more about your siblings’ well-being than about the world coming to an end. Am I wrong ?", she asked, tilting her head.

Five looked over his shoulder at his sister, halfway through the vortex, then back to the Handler. "Anytime ?", he asked.

"Anytime", she agreed. "Do we have a deal ?", she asked, holding out her hand.

That was too good to be true. The Commission _never_ offered deals like that. They were a firm of assassins, after all. Killing Five was a much more logical choice, and although he was a skilled fighter, he wouldn’t stand a chance against a trained sniper. What the Commission had planned exactly, he wasn’t sure yet, but it certainly wasn’t good for him or his siblings. But there was nothing he could do, trapped as he was in this out-of-time scenery with the Handler and her too-sweet smiles.

"I don’t have much of a choice, do I ?", he asked evenly.

"I’m afraid not." She even had the nerve to look sorry for him. "But on the bright side, if you agree to this proposition, you will never have to deal with the Commission again. We will forget your past… misconduct, and your siblings will be safe."  

"Why do I feel like I’m selling my soul here ?"

"Oh, dear. You sold you soul a long time ago, didn’t you ?"

"Fair enough." And with that, Five took her hand.

In hindsight, he should have known that it was a bad idea. He had just thought that, somehow, he would have time to figure something out, time to plan ahead and get out of this situation. But as the Handler shook his hand, Five felt the familiar pull of the briefcase transporting them. A flash of blue later, and he was standing in a forest with snow up to his calfs, and a gun pointed at his head. He immediately tried to warp himself away but the briefcase-jump had left him disoriented, and he ended up only a few meters from the Handler instead of the hundred he had hoped for. The woman reajusted her aim. Five tried to jump again. Failed. The Handler pullet the trigger once. Five collapsed, confusion written all over his face. Why did she take him here ? Why not put him down in front of his siblings ?

The Handler crouched next to him, seemingly unbothered by the snow on her bare skin. "Wondering why I didn’t shoot you on the docks, hmm ? I have to admit, it was tempting. It’s hard to resist to family drama, but then I figured, better to be safe than sorry. I know one of your brothers has weird powers, and I’d rather not find out if he can raise the dead. I know he can summon ghosts, so I thought, better to leave yours on the other side of the world. Some final words, maybe ?"

Five tried to reply but found himself unable to speak. All he could do was clench his teeth, keeping himself from whimpering in pain. He would not give her this satisfaction.

"Suit yourself", she said lightly, getting up. "It was nice meeting you, Number Five." She blew him a kiss and activated the briefcase, leaving Five alone in the small clearing.

Five let his head fall back on the ground, snow seeping through his hair. He was cold. His light shirt was nowhere near enough to withstand such low temperatures, but he distantly felt like he had a more pressing matter.  There was a wet spot on his abdomen. Not- cold wet, more like warm wet. Five didn't like it. He didn't have to look down on himself to know he was bleeding out. He reached tentatively for the wound, wincing when his trembling fingers grazed it. He laboriously pushed himself on his elbow and looked down, trying to assess the damage. _Oh shit_ , he thought. _Not looking good._ The front of his shirt was covered in blood, and his abdomen burnt like hell. The snow was turning crimson beside him, the patch of blood growing alarmingly quick. He closed his eyes, exhaling shakily.

 Groaning, he pushed himself from the ground until he was fully seated, his fingers stinging from the cold. He took a few seconds to catch his breath, curled on himself, then slowly unfolded his arms. He painstakingly felt his back for an exit wound, but found none. Good news, he was only bleeding from one orifice, and he could apply pressure to it. Bad news, he would have to extract the bullet at some point.

 Five breathed through his nose, bracing himself for the next movement. Hunching forward, he slowly, slowly got up, black spots dancing before his eyes as pain shot through his body. _Now what ?_ , he thought. He was stranded in the middle of a little clearing, covered in four inches of snow. He could be in fucking Russia, for all he knew. Hell, he probably was. His world was now reduced to an endless canvas of white and green and red- _Stop looking_ back. The line of tree was maybe fifty meters from where he stood, but it might as well have been a hundred miles. Five felt awfully exposed. He had to get cover, to the safety of the pine forest. _That makes no sense_ , he thought. _Think. Think think think_. Hiding in the trees would not make his bullet wound magically disappear, but the only thing he could think of was that he needed to reach the forest anyway. He needed to lie against something, and sitting on the ground again was out of question. Being on the ground meant dying. He would reach the trees, lie against one, and then think.

 Arms protectively curled around his middle, Five began his journey toward the edge of the forest. One step after the other, he limped toward the nearest pine tree, refusing to look down. He felt the blood flowing down his legs, vaguely warm and quickly making his clothes stiff. His mind couldn't align a single coherent thought, apart from the feeling of _cold_ and _pain_ that made him grind his teeth.

After what felt like hours but had probably only been minutes, he was close enough to put a hand on the tree, his bloody palm leaving a red print of the bark. He turned to lean on the trunk, pressing again his hand to his abdomen. He could see his breath in the icy air. _Don't look down_ , he thought. _Don't look down. Don't loo-_ He looked down. He was covered in blood from the waist down. His forearms were red and sticky, and suddenly he could smell it, almost feeling the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. He was going to die here. He wouldn't even last an hour at this rate.

He had survived forty years in the Apocalypse, five years at the Commission, he had killed hundreds and finally, finally, he had gone back to his family. And now, now that he was _so close_ to get all of his siblings back, now he was going to die from a gunshot wound ? _That's pathetic,_ he thought. But this thought suspiciously sounded like Diego's voice. Or maybe was it Klaus' ? _Anyway. That's what you get for being an asshole._ Five let out a strained sigh. He _was_ an asshole. He was a murderer with psychopatic tendancies. Maybe he deserved this. Maybe he deserved to die as he had lived, alone. With sudden clarity, Five realized that he hated himself. He knew, rationally, that he had no choice but to become this murderous asshole, but he also found that he didn't care. He had stopped caring a long time ago. He was at peace with his self-loathing. He felt a chuckle rise in his chest, and catched himself before it could reach his lips. He had a feeling laughing wouldn't agree with his bullet wound.

 He had a choice. He could just, slip down the tree, sit in the snow, and let himself drift away, slowly, softly – the cold would eventually fade as his blood poured in the snow. Or, he could try. He could try, one last time, to get back to his family. All the equations were still carved in his mind. He could try to time-travel. Five shook his head slightly, wincing as he did so. Was he really going to be that stupid ? _Well, how worse could it be ?_ , he thought. He could land in the Apocalypse again, he could land in the middle of the fucking ocean, he could appear in a much younger body, he could... Five closed his eyes. He had to try. Worst-case scenario if he time-travelled, he'd die. Worst-case scenario if he stayed here, he'd die too. He had nothing to lose. He just hoped the Handler wouldn’t be waiting for him on the other side of the vortex.

 Five had never quite got his power to work concerning time travel. The first time he had used it, he had been stuck in the Apocalypse for forty years. The second time, he had ended up in his thirteen years old body. And the third time, he had lost four of his siblings along the way. No, his time-jumps were not reliable at all. But seeing as his only other alternative was to bleed or froze to death in a maybe-russian forest, Five figured he had nothing to lose.

His fingers scraped involuntarily at the bark when a sudden spike of pain shot through him. He let out a whimper. He felt dizzy, the corners of his vision fading into shades of grey. He had only one chance. He had to bring himself back to 1989, but having no idea where or when he was, it seemed very much compromised. Five looked at the sky, trying to muster whatever strength he had left. Better die trying. He bent forward, closing his fists – letting go of his bullet wound, which dripped a fresh flow of blood onto his trousers, down his leg, in the snow – and _pulled._ He pulled on his power like he had never pulled, drawing every bit of energy he had left, his body srceaming in agony. Sure enough, he felt the tendrils of his power wrap around his hands, the fabric of space bending around him, but he needed more, he needed to bent _time too_. He groaned, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched so tight his nails bit into his palms. Slowly, too slowly, he felt _time_ move around him. A bead of sweat rolled down his face despite of the surrounding cold. Then, the vortex opened, violent winds picking up, knocking him against the tree. Five used the additional support to bend forward and _pushed_ through the vortex, letting the blinding light envelop him.

Inside the vortex, Five suddenly felt terribly weak, his body refusing to obey him. _Oh no_ , he thought. It was too early. He couldn’t pass out before landing. He had to stay conscious throughout the time-jump, otherwise he didn’t know what would happen. Fighting to stay awake, Five pushed one last time through the folds of energy, hoping he would at least land in the right country. Suddenly the vortex wasn’t there anymore, and he fell on a hard and rough surface, his bullet wound protesting profusely. Five didn’t even have the strength to lift his head. All he knew was that there wasn’t snow anymore, which was a win in itself.

 

* * *

 

 Screams. There were people screaming around him. He had trouble deciphering what the voices said as they all blended together. Then there was another, closer. "Kid ? Can you hear me ?" Five tried to speak, but no sound came out. He tasted blood.

 

* * *

 

Flashing lights. More voices. The world was a blur. He was moving. No, someone was moving him. He was cold again. Why was he cold ?

 

* * *

 

Silence. He was floating. He didn’t feel pain anymore. _Probably drugged_ , he thought. He couldn’t open his eyes, only feel himself slipping away.

 

* * *

 

Five opened his eyes to find himself in a very white room. For a split second, he thought that he was back at the Commission’s infirmary. God, he hated that room. But the TV hung in the corner and the flowers on the bedside table were telling him otherwise. A hospital ? How the hell had he ended up in a hospital ? Five tried to focus. He’d been shot. He had walked in the snow. He had tried to time-travel again. Where was he now ? No, when was he ?

He tried to move his head, assessing his surroundings. There was a card next to the flowers. He couldn’t read what was on it. Slowly, he angled his head to his left. There was someone. He squinted, trying to make out who that person was, but all he could see was a red and gold blur. Wait. Red and gold ? Could it be… ?

Suddenly the golden blur moved, and Five found himself trapped in a tight embrace. Five tensed, then relaxed as the smell of coconut shampoo overwhelmed him. Allison. She held him for a long minute, but for maybe the first time of his life, Five found that he didn’t care. Whatever had happened, he had successfully made it back home.

When she finally released him, she sat on the edge of his mattress, careful not to touch his side.

"What…", he croaked, his voice breaking.

Allison put a finger to his mouth, silencing him. She then took his hand into hers, and pressed lightly. _We’re fine,_ she whispered. _You will be too._

Five drifted off.

 

* * *

 

When he woke up, he was pleased to see that the world had gained in precision, as he could finally make out the details of the well wish card. There was a pinguin dancing under a palm tree, and someone had crossed out the " _Happy Birthday_ "  and scribbled " _Sorry you’ve been shot_ " above it. He noted with satisfaction that his mind wasn’t as foggy as it was the last time he’d been awake, and that he was now able to align two coherent thoughts. His gaze left the bedside table as he turned his head.

The room wasn’t very large, but there was plenty of space between his bed and the wall, in which a not-very-comfortable looking chair had been placed. Diego sat on it with his arms crossed, seemingly asleep. Five blinked once, twice, trying to assess the situation. He had made it. He had made it home, with his siblings. But how could he be sure that he was in the right time ? For all he knew he could be anytime between 2002 and 2019, and the medical equipment wasn’t really helpful. No, he had to be either in 1989, or sometimes near 2019, judging from the scar that ran from Diego’s temple to his cheekbone. He knew that one was quite recent. He was about to speak when Klaus barged in the room, a tray of coffee in his hand. Diego awoke with a start. Five let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d hold. Klaus was wearing dogtags. Alright. So he was at least in the last week of 2019.

"Sorry !", Klaus whispered, grabbing a cup and holding it out to Diego. "The vending machine was out of order, so I had to go to the small coffee place near the entrance, you know the one with the cute waitress, or waiter, I’m not so sure about their gender, and- Oh hey, you’re awake !"

Diego’s eyes snapped to Five, suddenly alert. "Five ? How do you feel ? "

Five cleared his throat and tried to push himself in a sitting position, but found that a lot more difficult than he’d anticipated. Klaus mercifully came to his rescue, pushing on a button on the side of the bed.

_Like I’ve been shot and left to bleed out in a russian forest. Like I thought I was going to die. Like I failed_ , he thought.

"Fine", he said, his voice hoarse.

Klaus hovered around him, clearly wanting to hug him but also being respectful of Five boundaries. Five would be lying if he said that didn’t make his heart swell a little.

"What year is it ?", he asked in a firmer voice. He clenched his fists in the sheets to ground himself. He was not afraid of the response. Nope, not at all. He distantly registered the pull of the I.V. in his right elbow as he moved.

"1989. Where have you been ? What happened to you ?", Diego asked with a frown. He was terrible at hiding his concern. Always had a soft spot for his siblings, no matter what he said. Five shoulders relaxed. Same timeline. He was okay. Diego and Klaus were okay.

"Irrelevant", he answered like the little shit that he was. "Allison ?"

"She’s fine. She’s talking to the doctors but she’ll be there in a minute", Klaus said, settling by Diego’s side, his hands fidgeting with Five’s sheets. "But don’t think that we’re going to let you off that easily, young man. You disappeared for months and then you show up with a brand new bullet wound ? No way, we want to hear _that_ story."

"How long has it been ? For you, I mean ?", Diego asked, softer.

There was a silence as Five stared at them. "What do you mean, Allison is _talking_ to the doctors ?"

Both his brothers made sounds of annoyance at his deflection. "Seriously ? What is wrong with you ?" Diego asked, irritated. "You are a fucking pain in the ass, you know that ?"

The door opened on Diego last words, Allison stepping inside with a reproving frown directed at Diego. She turned to Five, and her face lit up with a tired but genuine smile. She took two long strides and hugged him. Tight. Five closed his eyes, allowing himself to reciprocate under Diego incredulous stare.

After a few seconds, Allison stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed just as she had done the first time. She turned to their brothers and made a weird gesture with her hands, followed by a movement of her right hand up her left arm. American sign language, Five assumed.

"He just woke up, don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything", Klaus answered.

Wait, how long had they been here ? Clearly long enough for them to learn ASL. Klaus had said _months._ Five tensed again.

"What _day_ is it ?"

"The third", Diego answered. "The third of september", he added, seeing Five about to open his mouth. So Klaus was exaggerating, it was less than two months. _Fuck this shit,_ Five thought as he sighed. Two months was a small price to pay for a successful time-jump. Speaking of which, how did his siblings find him ? How the hell had he succeded ? He had next to no memories from his jump, let alone from the ride to the hospital.

_How do you feel ?_ Allison half mouthed, half whispered. Five rummaged through his memories for the book on sign language he once read in his thirties. A lot of books had been burned in the Apocalypse, so he had to improvise. In the course of fourty years, Five had accumulated an impressive knowledge on oddly specific topics, ranging from sheep husbandry during the Bronze Age to French poetry of the nineteenth century. Unfortunately, he hadn’t payed a lot of attention to this particular book, and he hesitated before tapping a hand onto his own chest and extending his fingers. _I’m fine._

Allison punched him lightly on the arm, playful. "Not bad" _,_ she whispered, "but I want to hear you."

"I’m fine", Five replied after clearing his throat. "What happened ?"

"Allison rumored every hospital in town into calling us if they had a teenage John Doe. Remember the last time you came back from the Commission ? Landing on the counter, stealing Allison’s coffee, hiding your shrapnel wound ?" Diego answered matter-of-factly. "We figured you would turn up eventually, whether it was after a day or seventeen years, so Allison rumored every police precinct too."

So Allison could use her power. Good. From what Five knew, her power laid in the words she used and her intent behind it, not on the level of her actual voice, so if she could whisper… There was conditions, of course. She had to be understood by her interlocutor, that was why Dad had made sure she learned russian, chinese, arabic, spanish and german. Another condition was that she could only rumor people into doing something physically possible. She could rumor someone into playing the piano perfectly, but not into flying. That being said, she was probably the most powerful member of the Umbrella Academy, followed closely by Vanya.

"Turns out, you magically appeared on the docks," Diego continued, "You scared the shit out of that man, the one that got you to the hospital –"

Five was getting tired of those fucking docks. What was it with those ? Was there some kind of energetic signature that somehow pulled at his own powers, or maybe –

"- Then the hospital called, saying they had a kid who’d been _shot._ "

The Commission. Why hadn’t the Commission intervened ? Why hadn’t the Handler come and finished the job ?

"So now, how about _you_ tell us what happ- wait what are you doing ?" Diego asked as Five yanked the I.V. from his arm and tried to get up, wincing.

Five paused, glaring at his brother. "I’m getting up. I’ve got things to take care of."

"Yeaaah I don’t think so, you’re not going anywhere, dear," Klaus said, standing in front of him. He bent until he was eye level with Five. "You need to rest. Come on, I know you can’t jump."

"I don’t have time to rest. The Commission -"

"The Commission’s been taken care of, Five", Diego said, interrupting him.

Five look at him sharply. "What do you mean ?"

"He means, I took care of the Commission," Allison whispered, almost too softly for him to hear. Five didn’t react, so she continued : "They came for us. I rumored them into turning their Handler in. Then I rumored her into forgetting us. And Vanya. Forever."

"You what", Five said, flatly.

"I" _,_ Allison repeated, "took care of the Commission. You’re safe. We all are", she added, her hands gesturing at their brothers.

Could it be that simple ? Five’s mind spinned with the revelation. All this time, all his efforts, all of that just for Allison to _rumor_ the Handler into leaving them alone ?

But somehow, it made sense. If only he had come to Allison first, instead of Vanya, a whole lot would have been avoided. But no, he had come to his favorite sister, the one who would always _listen,_ the one that wouldn’t judge him. Five wanted to punch the wall. He was angry at his own stupidity. People had died because of him. Diego’s friend died because of him. Klaus fought in the Vietnam war because of him. People’s lives had been destroyed because he _didn’t think_. Suddenly he found himself standing in front of the remains of the Umbrella Academy, the acrid smoke filling his lungs, remembering him again of his own failure. It was the very first time his arrogance and lack of planning ahead had backfired on him. The first but clearly not the last. Had he not learned ?

"Hey, hey, it’s okay," Klaus said, "Look at me. It’s okay," he repeated, sensing Five’s distress. "All we have to do now is wait for Luther and Vanya. You can rest."

Five absently thought that Klaus was good at this. A skill he probably developed with Ben’s help after years of panic and anxiety attacks. He breathed deeply, following the rythm of Klaus’ soothing voice.

After a minute, his heart stopped pouding in his chest and he looked at Diego, sitting with his hands clasped, clearly worried, then at Allison, who did her best to refrain from hugging him.

"I’m fine," Five said, although no one said anything. "I just need to get out of here." Oh, how he longed for his power. He’d just jump to the entrance of the hospital, and breathe, breathe, _breathe_ –

"It’s alright", Klaus said. "We’ll see with the doctors, but I think you’ll be out in a few days." Then, noticing how Five’s face fell, "Don’t worry, Ben here and myself will keep you company ! We absolutely _love_ hospitals."

 

* * *

 

Five was cleared from the hospital a week later, much to the staff’s relief. He had scribbled equations upon every available surface – some of them making no sense, but his drugged mind seemed to find them useful at the time – and had managed to make two different nurses cry.

Allison was waiting for him and Klaus in the parking lot, in a brand-new van. _Big enough to hold the seven of us_ , she signed. Right. Five felt somehow relieved to have another sibling able to plan ahead.

She drove them to their new flat. Allison’s power definitively had perks. During the first few weeks after Allison’s arrival, they had lived in the tiny appartment Klaus and Five had found, waiting for her voice to return. When she was finally able to whisper loud enough to use her power, she had gotten them a flat with enough rooms for each sibling to have their own space. Diego had grumbled that they didn’t need anything this fancy, but even he had to admit that he was tired of sharing a bed with Klaus. Klaus who, unsurprisingly, had been delighted to have a room where he could smoke without being yelled at.

Five didn’t care much about his room. With his power, everywhere was his personal space, since he could escape from any unwanted company, anywhere, anytime. He didn’t care much about having a bed either. Truth be told, after forty years in the Apocalypse, he sometimes slept better on the floor than on a mattress.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, Five headed to the living-room where Allison and Klaus were painting their nails. He had a strange feeling, probably not unlike the one Diego must have had upon seing Klaus and himself so familiar with each other. Jealousy ? Whatever it was, Five shrugged it off internally. It was ridiculous ; besides, Klaus deserved some time to take care of himself.

Five only hoped the last two months hadn’t been too rough on his brother.

"Where’s Diego ?" he asked, entering the room.

"Training", Klaus replied without looking up, finishing up Allison’s hand. With a final stroke of the tiny brush, he exclaimed : "Tadaa ! What do you think, kiddo ?" He raised a hand and wiggled his turquoise-painted fingers.

"Neat", came Five’s response. "Training for what ?"

Allison’s hands shot to each side of her face, her eyes opening big. _Surprise_.

"I hate surprises", Five frowned.

"Well, too bad because we’re not asking you~", Klaus sing-sang.

Five rolled his eyes. This was the moment he would have jumped away if his power had been working. Although this time, he wasn’t as concerned as he’d been a few months back. He was pretty confident that his power would be back within a few days. Probably when he stopped taking his pain medication. Oh, of course he’d thought about stopping it so he could get his power back faster, but the sharp pain that shot through his body everytime he stood was enough to make him think that it would be pointless. Jumping through space was quite useless if he couldn’t _walk_. So instead, he settled for an annoyed sigh, loud enough to convey his irritation.

 

* * *

 

Later in the day, Allison and Klaus dragged a reluctant Five to the car. After a ten-minutes drive, Allison parked in front of a shabby building, the front covered in tags and various flyers. Allison and Klaus ignored Five irritated protests, and went through a grey metal door, devoid of any helpful information that could indicate to Five where they were going. He sighed, linking his arm with Klaus’, who was more than happy to support him.

Inside, the hallway was dimly lit, but Five heard a distant rumble.

"Where are we ?" he asked.

"Surpriiise", was Klaus’ only answer.

They went down a staircase, Five leaning firmly on his brother, and the noise grew louder, until they reached another metal door. Allison opened it, and suddenly they found themselves  surrounded  by a yelling crowd. Most people were holding beers and dollar bills in their fists, focused on the center of the room, where a boxing ring stood, with two men fighting on it.

Allison made a path for them in the crowd, while Klaus made sure that Five was not jostled too much. The crowd was mostly composed of men, cheering or swearing, but also a few women, each of them looking like they could fight on the ring. They probably did, for all Five knew. They made it to a corner of the room whith three seats available, and Five gratefully dropped in one of them.

"Let me guess. This is an underground fight club."

Allison signed her assent. There was no way they could hear her in this noise.

"And Diego’s fighting tonight."

_Yes,_ Allison signed. _There’s a lot of bets._

Five frowned. "Am I supposed to be worried here ?" He knew he shouldn’t. Diego was one of the most skilled fighters he knew. But still, accidents could happen, and he wasn’t very comfortable knowing his brother was about to participate in a bare-knuckles fight in an illegal boxing club.

Allison shot him an incredulous look. _Worried ?_ she repeated. _It’s Diego, he’s the most-_ Five couldn’t make sense of the rest of her sentence. He really should work on his ASL. It could come in handy in a lot of situations.

The crowd erupted in a defeaning roar. From his seat, Five was able to see the right-part of the ring, where one of the opponents was lying face down, knocked-out. A person – the referee, Five guessed – whistled, and the unconscious man was taken off the ring.

"Hang on. Diego should be next", Klaus yelled above the noise.

After a minute or two, a familiar figure climbed onto the ring, a smirk plastered on his face. Damn, Diego looked like he had never been happier, bare-chested and jumping in anticipation. Five jumped a little when his siblings got up, Klaus cheering loudly, Allison clapping. They obviously had been here before. Five wondered how many times Diego had fought in this place. _Guess it’s easy money_ , he thought.

The referee whistled, and Diego leaped forward.

 

* * *

 

The sun had set when they emerged, an hour later. Diego was smiling brightly, counting a stack of dollar bills. He had won against three different guys, earning a black eye and a gash on his eyebrow in the process. Nothing a few stitches wouldn’t fix.

Behind him, Five was leaning heavily on Klaus, frowning. "So I leave you alone for two months, and this is what you do."

"Hey, gotta pay the bills" Diego said, winking at him. "Come on. It would be a shame not to use my skills."

Five let out a humorless laugh. "Right. Nice try, but now that Allison is providing for everything, what’s your excuse ?"

"I’m sorry ?"

"I said, what’s your excuse ? You go in there for _fun_?"

Diego licked his lips, then turned back to face his brother. "Yeah. What is your problem, Five ? I’m stuck here, just like you are. I got nothing left, except the hope that maybe you can fix this mess. I can’t do anything useful. I don’t know what you expect me to do, but at least I try to find a way to handle my feelings. You should try it."

"Oh my g- I can’t believe you." Five worked his jaw, shaking his head in dismay. "I expect you _not to get into illegal fightings clubs._ Is that too much to ask ?"

"Okay, guys, I get it, but - " Klaus began.

"Oh no. Don’t you _dare_ ", Five said, looking up at his brother. "You were cheering, down there."

"Well, _yeah_. Of course I was. Diego’s good at this, and if this is how he wants to handle his anger issues, then _let him_ ", Klaus replied, exasperated.

Five pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. "Allison ?"

There was a pause, then his sister answered. "I’m fighting too."

"Come again ?"

"Next week. I’m fighting too."

Five closed his eyes. "You will be the death of me."

"Okay, what is your problem, Five ?", asked Allison, crossing her arms.

"My problem is, you are all a bunch of idiots with self-destructive tendencies."

"Wow", Allison whispered angrily. "And you are the most sane person in this family. Right. Because you drinking yourself to sleep, or hiding injuries, is so much better than us having a fist fight ?"

Five shot her a dark look. "I am going to fix this. To fix us. If you want to fight like an animal in a cage, then so be it. But I need you all to get your shit together. I can’t protect you from yourselves. I can’t bury you again."

"We’re not asking you to, Five", Diego said.

Five tilted his head back and took a long breath. They didn’t get it. This conversation was going nowhere, he was tired and he was hurting and he loved his siblings but God forbid, they were so annoying he wanted to punch them.

"Can we go home ?" he sighed.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, when Five felt like he could stand without popping a painkiller pill, he took a deep breath and blinked himself on the other side of his room. _Called it_ , he thought. He had been pretty sure that his power would come back quicker than the first time they landed in 1989. A week in the hospital was more effective than inexperienced stitches in a seedy motel. _And not a drop of blood_ , he noted, bringing a hand to his nose.

Confident, he jumped into the living room. Allison was already there in her pajamas, reading a newspaper. Good. She barely had the time to whisper a "Good morning" that he disappeared from sight, reappearing in the hallway in front of Diego’s door. Five always had a hard time _walking_ from one place to another when his mind was set on something.

He knocked twice before Diego’s sleep-heavy voice answered : "What ?"

"Get up. Family reunion. Living room. Now." Five heard Diego groan but paid him no heed. It wasn’t _that_ early. Turning on his feet, he raised his hand to knock on Klaus door, only to find it partially opened. He knocked anyway, and, when Klaus failed to answer, slowly pushed the door on its hinges.

The room was a mess of clothes and books seemingly thrown haphazardly onto the floor and furniture. Five raised an eyebrow at the book laying near the door. _The Call of Chtullu._ Of course. He wondered briefly if Klaus had bought it to annoy Ben or if on the contrary, Ben had requested it himself. Either was possible, with those two. Despite the chaos, the room smelt like freshly-cleaned clothes, with only a faint trace of cigarette.

Klaus was curled up under his covers, breathing slowly. Five cleared his throat and knocked on the door again, harder. Klaus only groaned. Five sighed. "Klaus !" This time, Klaus raised his head a little.

"What ?" he let out gruffly.

"Family reunion. Get up."

Klaus let his head fall back on his pillow. "No."

"That wasn’t a question."

"Don’t care. Come back in a few hours. Or don’t come back at all. Let a man sleep for God’s sake", came the answer, muffled as Klaus buried himself deeper under the covers.

"Klaus, it’s important." Behind him, Five heard Diego step outside of his room, the door clicking open then shut again.

"Good luck with that", Diego commented, walking away. Five ignored him.

"Klaus, come on."

A dramatic sigh came from under the sheet. "Fiiiine. M’getting up. But you’re going to be the death of me, old man." Klaus sat up, his movements stiff.

Five frowned. He had been about to blink out of the room when something caught his eye. "What is this ? " he asked, jerking his head toward Klaus wrist.

"What- Oh, that ? It’s nothing, don’t worry", Klaus said, putting his hand down on his lap. "Well ? Off you go, I’ll be there in a minute."

"Klaus, look at me." Five suddenly felt a pang of worry. Klaus kept his head angled down and away from him, most of his body still hidden under the sheets. He didn’t move, just held himself still as Five blinked right in front of the bed. "Look. At. Me."

Klaus exhaled through his nose, clearly tired. "Alright, okay, just- just don’t freak out, okay ? It looks worse that it really is," He looked up at his brother. "Just scratches."

Five set his jaw as Klaus’ eyes finally met his. There was dried blood under his nose, and his lip was split. His gaze travelled down to where a nasty bruise was circling his neck. There was some kind of bite mark on his shoulder, deep enough to have drawn blood.

"What the hell", Five muttered. "What happened ? Who did that ?" He was torn between concern and _anger_ , ready to hunt down whoever was responsible.

"No, wait, _that’s_ what I meant by "don’t freak out"," Klaus said, his voice just a little hoarse. "I’m fine- it’s _fine._ "

"The hell it’s fine ! " Five said, way too loud for Klaus, who winced. "What. Happened." Klaus shivered at the tone, noticing how dark his brother’s eyes suddenly were.

"I went out, had a little bit of fun, you know how it gets – and, okay, maybe I got a little carried away, but I _swear_ to you, I didn’t take anything. Well to be honest, I drank a shit ton of alcohol" Klaus let out a strained chuckle. "but Ben here can testify, I didn’t take a single pill and God knows I had the occasion, and-"

Five’s look went from concerned to horrified. Was Klaus trying to justify himself ? "That not the point", he cut Klaus’ rambling short. "I don’t care what you took, are you alright ?"

Klaus shut up, at loss. "Well, yeah. Obviously." Confused.

Five eyed Klaus wrists, were the skin was an angry red. "What happened ?" he asked, one more time. Softer.

"Uh. I went out. I know you’re not into sex or whatever – which, thank you, ‘cause it would be hella disturbing with your body–" Five raised an eyebrow at that. "- but you can understand that sometimes, the need of the flesh outrights those of the minds, so I, you know" Klaus shrugged. "I decided to take the matter in my own hand, or rather on the hands of others, if I may phrase it that way."

Five held up a hand. "Let me get this straight. You are telling me that you went out for a fuck" God, that word felt so strange on his tongue. "And that you got drunk, and then this-" Five gestured at Klaus neck. "- happened ? " Klaus made a sound of agreement. "Do you remember any of it ? " A non-commital sound. Five looked around him, not departing of his frown. "Do you remember the name, or the face, of the person who did this ?" he finally asked.

"Bold of you to assume it was only one guy."

"Klaus, please."

"No, I don’t. And even if I could, what would be the point ?"

"The point would be, I would find him- or them, and break their fucking faces."

"What-no, no you wouldn’t. I don’t _want_ you to !" Klaus exclaimed.

Then, it clicked. Five realized why Klaus seemed so unphazed by it all. He had _wanted_ this. He had wanted to get hurt.

There was a long silence.

"Tell me you asked for it. Tell me you didn’t just get drunk and waited for an assole to beat you up." Another silence.

"Does it matter ?", Klaus asked softly.

"Jesus, Klaus." Five passed a hand on his face, trying to stay calm. "Of course it matters. Your consent matter."

"I got what I wanted. It’s fine", Klaus sighed, getting up. He bent down to pick up a shirt, and Five’s eyes raked over his brother’s bruised ribs.

"You need medical attention."

"What I _need_ , is a shower."

"Klaus."

"Five", Klaus snapped, warning his brother to stop talking. Stop asking.

This conversation wasn’t going anywhere, Five decided. He disappeared in a flash of blue, only to reappear in the living room where Diego was slowly sipping his coffee, Allison still reading the newspaper.

"Which one of you was on Klaus duty yesterday ?" he barked, somewhat satisfied by the way both of his siblings jumped, Diego spilling some of his coffee. He and Allison exchanged a questioning glance. Allison shook her head as the same time Diego answered : "None of us was. Why ? What’s wrong ? "

"What do you mean none of you ?", Five said.

_What happened ?_ Allison signed.

"What happened is Klaus went out unsupervised and got himself hurt. I thought we had an agreement, Diego. _We said we wouldn’t leave him alone anymore._ "

"What ? Hurt how ? " Diego stepped toward the bedrooms but Five grabbed his arm.

"Where were you last night ? Where were you that was more important than keeping our brother safe ?"

Diego stilled. "That’s not fair. That’s not fair and you know it. You weren’t there those last few months. He was _better_. He doesn’t need us to watch him all the time. "

"He got himself hurt _on purpose_ , Diego. He’s not better."

Diego had the decency to look guilty at that. Allison signed, _How bad ?_ , but Five didn’t have the time to respond that Klaus was walking in the room, wearing a shirt and a scarf, that, combined, hid most of the bruises. He had also cleaned the crusted blood on his face, looking a lot better than he had a few minutes earlier.

" _Klaus’ duty_? What do you think I am now, a dog ?", he spat as he walked past his brothers.

"A suicidal idiot is what you are", Five hissed, letting go of Diego’s arm.

"An idiot, maybe, but I’m not suicidal." Klaus chuckled darkly, grabbing the pot of coffee. "If I wanted to be dead I’d be dead."

"Yeah, that’s very reassuring", Diego said.

"Then maybe Ben can tell us what he thinks of this ? I don’t recall seeing him for the last few day", Five said, squinting.

Klaus’ eyes quickly darted to his left, then back to Five. "He doesn’t have anything to say."

"Bullshit", Diego said.

"Can we please drop it ?" Klaus exhaled, exasperated. "I had a rough night, but nothing happened that I didn’t consent to. I am fine, thank you for you concern but now what do you say we-"

"I’m not dropping anything-" Five began.

"Okay let me rephrase, _we_ are all going to drop it because I have nothing to say about it", Klaus interrupted him.

Five felt so very tired of his siblings.

Then Diego piped up : "Alright. Let’s say I’m dropping it for now. Where were _you_ last night, Five ?"

Five froze. "I," he began, "was doing some research. One of us has to think in this godamn household, and it sure as hell won’t be you."

"Oh yeah ? Doing some research ? Not drinking yourself to sleep ?"

That was a low blow, but Five knew that Diego had reasons to accuse him. Diego took his silence as a cue to continue : "You can’t disappear whenever you want and then just, come back and tell us what to do. You can’t accuse us of not taking care of Klaus when you were away for two months."

"Again, I’m still here, and I’d like you to stop referring to me as-" Klaus began, only to be interrupted by his brother.

"Are you seriously implying that because I got stuck, I don’t have a say anymore ? Your tiny brain can’t even begin to grasp how messy time-travel can get, or how lucky I was to make it back", Five exclaimed. "I’m doing my best. Have you forgotten who saved your fucking ass before the Apocalypse ?"

Suddenly all Five wanted was to get out of this room, away from his siblings. Idiots, all of them. He turned to jump outside – risky, he hadn’t tested if he had recovered fully yet – just as Diego opened his mouth.

"Yeah, that’s it, run away as you always d-" Diego didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence as Five suddenly appeared in front of him, grabbing him by his collar.

"Fuck you", Five hissed in his face. But Diego wasn’t one to let himself be manhandled, so as soon as Five had touched him he had curled his fingers around the handle of one of his knives, ready to fight. With his other hand, he tried to push Five away but the little asshole didn’t let go, his eyes glinting with rage.

Before any of them had a chance to really hurt the other, a loud _clang_ echoed in the room. They all turned to Allison, who was holding a pan. Taking advantage of the momentaneous silence, she hastily whispered : "I heard a rumor you all calmed down."

The effect was immediate. Five unclenched his fingers from Diego’s collar, who in turn slid his knife back to his sheath, sheepishly looking down.

Five squinted. "You said you wouldn’t use your power on us anymore."

"What choice did I have ?" Allison replied in an angry whisper. "You idiots were going to murder each other."

"No we weren’t-" Five began, shaking his head.

"She’s right, you know," Klaus said matter of factly, not looking at them, busy readying another pot of coffee.

"Remember Dad’s funeral ?" Allison asked. Everyone paused. Diego rubbed the back of his neck in embarassment.

"Fair point", he said. "But Five can’t run around accusing us of not taking care of Klaus. We are doing our best, and Klaus is a grown-ass man- "

"Again, I’m heere~" Klaus sing-songed.

"- and we have to trust him. At least not to get himself killed."

" _Finally_  ! _Merci_ , dear brother."

Five put both his hands in his pockets, and looked at his siblings, working his jaw. Klaus was  trying to pour himself another cup of coffee whithout dipping his too-long scarf into the pot. Diego managed to look guilty and defiant at the same time, and Allison… Allison was looking at him.

"Five", she whispered. "I know that you worry. I know that you care about us, but I also know you need to trust us. We all need to learn to trust one another." Then, turning to the others : "But right now we have things to discuss. I assume you wanted all of us here for a reason."

Five unclenched his teeth. "Yes, we do. Klaus, I’m not done with you. But the reason I gathered you this morning is that we have to talk about a number of things." He began pacing in the room. "We are going to be born in two weeks. Our father will fetch us in seven different locations, buying us from our families. We can’t do anything about it, obviously, the risks would be too big. We could cease to exist, or disrupt the time-continuum, but we have to ask ourselves : are we going to interfere ? Are we going to prevent dad from torturing us ? Are we going to stop Allison before she rumors Vanya into believing she’s ordinary ? Or are we letting everything happen just as it did, and we just wait for Vanya and Luther to arrive ? Then, where do we go ? Do we try to go back to 2019 , or do we stay here, trying not to cross our kid-selves ? There are a lot of questions to be discussed."

"And I assume you already have made up your mind on most of those", Diego said.

"Correct. " Five stopped pacing. "But I also want to hear your opinions."

"Well that’s a first", Allison chuckled wryly.

"Well there’s a first time for everything.", Five answered with a tight smile.

"I don’t care. I’m out for this one. " Klaus sighed, leaving the room, cup of coffee in hand.

"Klaus. We need your opinion, and Ben’s." Diego intervened.

"No you don’t. I _trust_ you, dear siblings. I’m sure you’re going to decide on the best course of action."

 

* * *

 

In the bathroom, Klaus stepped in the shower stall and turned the faucet on, leaving it on the coldest setting. His breath caught in his throat under the icy water, and he hugged himself as he shivered violently.

_A mouth on his temple. Fingers on his lips. Then lower, on his jaw, around his throat. Squeezing._

Klaus’ nails dug into the flesh of his arms.

_Hands between his legs. Fingers around his wrists, gripping tight. A tongue, tracing the shell of his ear, traveling down his neck to his shoulder, biting hard._

He abruptly turned the knob to the hottest setting. A few seconds later, the shower stall was filled with steam, as he felt his skin burn. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He couldn’t do either of this things. So instead he forced himself to stay down the scalding hot water, eyes scrunched tight against the pain.

When he emerged a few minutes later, Ben was waiting for him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Don’t. Just… Don’t. " Klaus sighed.

"I didn’t say anything."

"Let’s keep it that way."

 

* * *

 

Klaus was about to climb on the fire escape when he heard a knock.

"Klaus ?"

Five. Klaus paused. Taking back the unlit cigarette from his mouth, he answered.

"Yeah ? "

The door opened slowly, and his smallest brother entered the room. He looked tired, and he was still slightly limping. "I’d like to talk to you."

"Since when do you ask permission ?" Klaus asked, seemingly unphased.

Five eyed him, his face blank. Klaus rolled his eyes and indicated the window with a jerk of his head. "Come on then."

Five followed him on the fire escape, up to the roof. The night was clear and hot, like the last nights of summer can be. There was a light breeze on the top of the building, and Klaus was glad to feel it on his face, drying the sweat on the back of his neck. He had abandoned the sweater and the scarf for a crop-top, more appropriate for the weather,  bruises be damned. He dropped down to a sitting position, legs dangling over the edge, and lit his cigarette.

After a few seconds, Five joined him, wincing as he got down.

"Such grace. You look like you need a replacement hip", Klaus commented.

Five ignored him. "We are not going to interfere with our past-selves."

Klaus paused. "Okay. Did you decide that on your own or is everyone on board ?"

"I thought it was the best course of action. Allison and Diego agreed with me when I explained them what were the risks if we tried to change our past."

"Okay. So how are we going to avert the Apocalypse then ?"

"We… Are going to get back to 2019. Our consciences, I mean. I should be able to get us back to the week before it happens."

"Shit, dude, you can _do_ that ?"

Five silently nodded. "But we need to help Vanya first. She needs us." Klaus could almost hear the " _She needs me_ " that Five wanted to add. Alright. He wasn’t sure he was ready to dwelve into that particular issue.

"Luther ?" He said instead.

"I will handle Luther", Five answered quietly. Klaus took a long drag of his cigarette, letting Five’s words sink in.

Five let the silence drag on for a minute before speaking again : "Can I ask you something ?"

"Sure."

"Where does it end ?"

"Where does what end ?" Klaus answered, genuinely lost.

"The self-destruction. The self-hatred."

Klaus wasn’t sure of whom his brother was speaking of. Could be about Klaus, could be about Five himself, could be about every single one of their siblings, actually. Or all of them at once. Klaus didn’t answer, finishing his cigarette and lighting another, the flickering flame of his lighter briefly bathing their faces in its warm light.

"That bad, then." Five said softly.

Alright. So it _was_ about Klaus. "You don’t want to know", he said, not looking at his brother.

"Yes. Yes I do, Klaus." Five sighed. "Listen. I know I haven’t been there these past weeks but-"

"Whoa, I’m gonna stop you right there", Klaus said, putting a hand up. "I can’t believe that I am saying this, but if you are here to apologize, just, don’t, okay ?"

Five frowned.

"You didn’t leave on purpose. That’s all I need to know. Diego knows it too. He’s just an ass because he’s worried. He always worried anyway."

Five hummed. "Alright. Can we still talk about this morning then ?"

Klaus let out an exasperated moan, dropping his head. "Do we _have_ to talk about it ?"

Five’s eyes raked from Klaus bare neck to his wrists. "I believe we do."

"Ugh, fiiine."

"What happened ?"

"Told you. Went to a bar, got drunk, fucked a guy."

"Why did you want to get hurt ?"

"Believe it or not, young man, but some people _like_ pain. "

"Oh I believe it alright", Five chuckled wryly. "But it seems to me that you were trying to punish yourself."

Klaus exhaled a long trailed of smoke and watched it dissolve above them. He had missed his brother. He had been his anchor during their first few weeks in 1989, the one solid thing in the shitstorm that their lives had become. Still an asshole at times, but hey, that’s what siblings are for. Moreover, Klaus felt like Five was the only one that could understand him. Well, not- _understand_ him, but he had at least as much issues than Klaus, if not more. Not that their siblings weren’t fucked up in their own ways, they clearly were, but none of them expressed the same self-hatred, the same violence towards themselves. Okay, no, Diego could definitively compete in that category. So why did Klaus feel like he could say anything to Five ? That this little psycho would listen, without judgment ? _Because he’s the only one living with darkness like you do. Because he told you things that made your skin crawl in the dead of the night, stories about a burnt world and scorched earth, about loneliness and horror, stories about little kids getting murdered in their beds for the sake of the time-space continuum, about torture, blood and pain, and always, always, the self-hatred that came along._ Yeah, Five was probably the most fucked-up sibling of the family. So Klaus told him the truth.

"I did, actually."

Silence.

"I’ve been sober for five months. That’s the longest I’ve been since I was a teenager. I’ve been dealing pretty good, I think. Considering. Sometimes I feel like my skin crawls with want, and suddenly I just want to swallow a damn pill to make the feeling go away. Sometimes I pretend that I need a walk just to escape from spirits in the room. Because the longer I’m staying put, the more likely they will realize that I can see them. Sometimes I want to scream until I’ve got no voice left. Sometimes I just close my eyes and pretend that Dave is alive and that he is here, with me. Most of the times I just dream of the war, of the bombs, of Dave’s blood on my hands. Then I wake up and I wonder why I didn’t die with him. I should not be alive, you know ? Before, I would just have gotten high, permanently, to numb all of this. But that’s not an option anymore. So I opted for the next best thing. Physical pain, harsher than the one in my mind. And the best part of it is, it worked. " Klaus’ voice went dreamy. "For a blissful moment, there wasn’t anything else but pure pain. Nothing. And then, when it was over, I felt a little less guilty. Like my suffering somewhat… Lessened the shame from surviving when Dave didn’t." Klaus crushed the butt of his cigarette on the ground.

"I’m sorry", Five said.

"You shouldn’t."

"I am. I wish you didn’t have to go through all that."

Klaus scoffed to himself. "I wish none of us had to go through what we did."

"But we did. And I’m proud of us. I’m proud of you."

Klaus punched lightly on Five’s shoulder. "Come on. It’s weird when you’re nice. You’re making me feel weird."

Five briefly smirked.

"I’d like you to promise me something."

"Depends."

"Next time, negociate before. Please don’t just _find a guy_ , hoping he will hurt you the way you want. I know, that you know, that it is a dangerous game. That if you had changed your mind halfway through, maybe he wouldn’t have stopped."

"Oh my god. I’m not having this conversation with my teeny-tiny brother. If you’re not old enough to have stubble, you’re not old enough to lecture me on my sex life." Klaus suddenly frowned. "Anyway, have you ever… ?"

Five seemed surprised. "No. Well, obviously, I was alone for fourty years, but then I had every opportunity during my years at the Commission. I just… Didn’t feel like it."

Klaus blinked at him. "Oh my god. You’re my exact polar opposite !" he exclaimed, clapping his hands.

Five stared at him, then laughed softly. "A blessing, actually. Imagine if I had sexual urges in _this_ body. I would have to fuck pedophiles. Or teenagers, which would make _me_ a pedophile."

" _Боже_ _мой_.  A blessing indeed", Klaus laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not satisfied with a lot of things in this chapter, mostly because I find writing Allison and Diego way harder than Klaus and Five. I kept rewriting certain parts over and over, and I couldn’t get them right, so I ended up removing a few things (that I hope I will be able to add to the next (and last !) chapter). Also, I’m really excited to finally write from Vanya POV.


End file.
